OMG hahahaha I'm STUPID.
So my desk has this pull our tray thing for keyboards, and it's hidden by this fake front thing that you pull down to open it and allow the pull-out tray to come out. Well, since I have a laptop (=no keyboard), I only use the tray to store scissors and other random crap. And also to eat meals on since my desk is always a cluttered mess.
I guess when I ate dinner tonight, I put my wallet on the tray and then closed it up, forgetting my wallet was there. It's not the first time it's happened, but it IS the first time I've actually forgotten my wallet was there for more than three seconds.
:hammer:
Crisis averted!