Disney Bride & Groom Forego Catering, Host Mickey & Minnie instead

[jloucks]

Actually...that's not quite correct.

Traditionally, the a wedding is about the community. The traditional idea of a wedding is to bring two families together, and also to - I'm not quite sure how to word it - but to let the community know the couple has undergone an important transformation in their lives and that transformation = they need to be treated differently.

It is not unlike a wake/funeral. Or even a graduation/coming of age ceremony. Without a funeral, many people actually have a hard(er) time accepting that the person has passed away. A coming-of-age celebration also = this person must be treated differently. They are no longer a child.


Many have argued, that from a sociological perspective, the lack of a society-wide coming-of-age custom in America culture = confusion. That confusion is a factor in many of the societal problems we face.

Humans are social creatures, and we crave closure. Weddings exist in just about every culture that has ever existed because they serve a societal function. Weddings are central to many of Disney's own fairy tales, "They lived happily ever after."

That is a really good point. When did weddings become the narcissistic spectacle some are today? They traditionally are about bringing two family's together. At my wedding, I scored big time. I not only got a lovely spouse of 35+ years, but a world class mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother & sister in law, step-father-in-law, step-mother-in-law, and the list goes on. Again, it would have been horrifying to tell them all, "Hey, gift table is by the door. If you're hungry, there are some Doritos in the vending machines, you can get change at the gas station across the street. We spent all the food money my future mom donated for wedding food on an *insert something nobody else cares about*".

 

[Chi84]

That is a really good point. When did weddings become the narcissistic spectacle some are today? They traditionally are about bringing two family's together. At my wedding, I scored big time. I not only got a lovely spouse of 35+ years, but a world class mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother & sister in law, step-father-in-law, step-mother-in-law, and the list goes on. Again, it would have been horrifying to tell them all, "Hey, gift table is by the door. If you're hungry, there are some Doritos in the vending machines, you can get change at the gas station across the street. We spent all the food money my future mom donated for wedding food on an *insert something nobody else cares about*".

And then people try to shame the wedding guests for even thinking that the couple should give a care for anyone but themselves. Social conventions such as providing food for guests, dressing nicely for events, etc. were adopted over the years as a way of showing respect for others. Now it's all about "me" and people defend that attitude. It's not surprising - we've become much more isolated and less social, and the last few years certainly haven't helped in that area.

 

[Club Cooloholic]

You seem upset. I’ll leave you alone.

You seem to have more growing up to do.

 

[HouCuseChickie]

While I understand the bride and groom wanting certain things for their wedding, they take on the role of "HOSTS" when they start inviting guests. So, as soon as you invite people, your wants and needs as a bride and groom must be balanced with what's required of being a good host. I find it to be extremely rude to invite guests and then do nothing for them aside from make suggestions. It's even worse when it's a destination wedding and your guests had to incur travel expenses. Ultimately, you hopefully invited these people because you care about them and wanted to have them celebrate in your special day, which usually means treating them with the care and respect that offering an invite infers.

Maybe this couple thought this to be Ok after seeing the number of couples who think it's acceptable practice to bill their guests with the cost per head (which is also ridiculously rude). Like, instead of paying for anything for you and taking the tacky and rude approach of billing you, we're just going to invite you and do nothing else. I have a number of friends who chose all inclusive resorts for their destination weddings so that they didn't have to foot the bill for food/drinks on those who chose to travel. That being said, they did host casual receptions at home where they did feed and entertain everyone. So, I guess they just found a cost cutting measure that still respected their guests while still fulfilling a lot of their wants.

I understand Disney may have been this couple's dream, but if you're picking Mickey and Minnie over being proper hosts and treating your guests well, then you couldn't afford the wedding of your dreams and should have made more responsible and considerate choices.

 

[WondersOfLife]

You seem to have more growing up to do.

Says the one initiating and searching for an argument? lol. I'll leave you alone, too. ;-)

 

[MickeyLuv'r]

we weren't changing the menu to appease someone's allergies.

Ouch!

Food allergies are a medical condition same as cancer or blindness.

I am a little surprised to see this post from you, because you often advocate for kindness in these forums.

 

[Californian Elitist]

Ouch!

Food allergies are a medical condition same as cancer or blindness.

I am a little surprised to see this post from you, because you often advocate for kindness in these forums.

I agree. If I had family members and friends with food allergies that I wanted as guests at my wedding, I would absolutely accommodate them and see to it that I provided food they could eat, even if I had to make it myself or pay extra for outside resources.

 

[eliza61nyc]

Ouch!

Food allergies are a medical condition same as cancer or blindness.

I am a little surprised to see this post from you, because you often advocate for kindness in these forums.

We did informed almost anyone who even remotely had am allergy (we had a few shellfish dishes) . The problem became cost, I know that sounds harsh but catering halls are crazy expensive. Every time we made changes there were cost involved. So once we finally got it down we decided not to make any adjustments.

Thank you, lol I've been trying to be more considerate on line. 10 lashes with a wet pixie stick for that post.

 

[Andrew C]

We had steak..and then a veggie/vegan option. I had steak.

 

[HouCuseChickie]

I agree. If I had family members and friends with food allergies that I wanted as guests at my wedding, I would absolutely accommodate them and see to it that I provided food they could eat, even if I had to make it myself or pay extra for outside resources.

Ouch!

Food allergies are a medical condition same as cancer or blindness.

I am a little surprised to see this post from you, because you often advocate for kindness in these forums.

We did informed almost anyone who even remotely had am allergy (we had a few shellfish dishes) . The problem became cost, I know that sounds harsh but catering halls are crazy expensive. Every time we made changes there were cost involved. So once we finally got it down we decided not to make any adjustments.

Thank you, lol I've been trying to be more considerate on line. 10 lashes with a wet pixie stick for that post.

As a parent of a child with life threatening food allergies, I think sometimes there's only so much you can do. It's always been nice when I get a parent/host who is considerate and tries, but sometimes it's just too much. I'm at least grateful when people reach out to us in advance and want to work with us. While not quite the same as a wedding, we've had my daughter attend events where the host/venue couldn't alter the menu (for one reason or another). So, as long they're willing to allow us to bring in outside food and there isn't something else concerning with the venue (like when the choir did a celebratory organization meal at Texas Roadhouse, where there is peanut debris everywhere), she was good to attend.

 

[JenniferS]

I don’t even know why couples bother to feed their guests anymore. I haven’t been to a wedding in almost 20 years where at least half the guests weren’t complaining about something. For the amount it costs, I would totally go non-traditional if I were getting married now.

Two of my brothers and I used the same ethnic hall our parents got married in half a century ago. My third brother had a potluck barbecue in a local park. It was just as lovely.

 

[MickeyLuv'r]

As a parent of a child with life threatening food allergies, I think sometimes there's only so much you can do. It's always been nice when I get a parent/host who is considerate and tries, but sometimes it's just too much. I'm at least grateful when people reach out to us in advance and want to work with us. While not quite the same as a wedding, we've had my daughter attend events where the host/venue couldn't alter the menu (for one reason or another). So, as long they're willing to allow us to bring in outside food and there isn't something else concerning with the venue (like when the choir did a celebratory organization meal at Texas Roadhouse, where there is peanut debris everywhere), she was good to attend.

Wow, that location was a terrible choice of location for a school choir meal. I'm sorry.

 

[Club Cooloholic]

I don’t even know why couples bother to feed their guests anymore. I haven’t been to a wedding in almost 20 years where at least half the guests weren’t complaining about something. For the amount it costs, I would totally go non-traditional if I were getting married now.

Two of my brothers and I used the same ethnic hall our parents got married in half a century ago. My third brother had a potluck barbecue in a local park. It was just as lovely.

I have a pot luck phobia. Remeber when Kramer was cooking in his shower on Seinfeld?

 

[JenniferS]

I have a pot luck phobia. Remeber when Kramer was cooking in his shower on Seinfeld?

What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

 

[MickeyLuv'r]

I have a pot luck phobia.

Oh, me too!

I long ago took a food science/safety class, so just, I can't eat anything like undercooked poultry, or meat that has been left sitting out for 4 hours. I mean the professor showed LOTS of photos of things you NEVER want to see. Like every major disease that infests cattle and (food) fish parasites.

 

[Pepper's Ghost]

What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

I know you're joking, and this can be true with many things, but when it comes to what's in a pot luck dish... not so much. I have an aunt that on two separate instances has made a large amount of pasta with meat sauce for parties. At those two different parties, it made EVERYONE sick... well, all who ate it. By luck I chose not to eat it at the first party, and after everyone got sick I never ate a pasta dish she made again. I don't know what caused it, likely bacteria from letting it sit out for too long, but I don't trust her cooking process anymore. In those cases, what everyone didn't know hurt them.

 

[Sirwalterraleigh]

….woah…calm down, kids

 

[JenniferS]

Easy folks. I honestly think this was a misunderstanding. I too didn't take @Lilofan's response as directed personally. It was just a general statement. Replying to your response can make it seem like that was the intent, but I don't think it was.


I know you're joking, and this can be true with many things, but when it comes to what's in a pot luck dish... not so much. I have an aunt that on two separate instances has made a large amount of pasta with meat sauce for parties. At those two different parties, it made EVERYONE sick... well, all who ate it. By luck I chose not to eat it at the first party, and after everyone got sick I never ate a pasta dish she made again. I don't know what caused it, likely bacteria from letting it sit out for too long, but I don't trust her cooking process anymore. In those cases, what everyone didn't know hurt them.

I was TOTALLY joking, of course … althooooooogh my brother won’t eat anything with sour cream or cream cheese; and yet every Christmas he can’t get enough of my famous make ahead mashed potatoes. He just doesn’t know that they contain both sour cream and cream cheese, so he eats them. A lot of them.

And weighing in on the original poll question - I originally voted Right, but changed it to It’s Complicated. I’m 55 years old and have obviously been to many weddings. Some fancy, some basic, some quaint, some very ethnic, and some downright weird … and not once did I attend for the food. I attend to bless the couple, not to bless my stomach. I attend to support the newlyweds, celebrate with family and friends, judge a few cousins on the dance floor, and reminisce about our own “perfect” wedding day.

We’ve left multiple weddings and had to stop at McDonald’s on the way home. It is what it is. Not once did I ever think to condemn the couple for not providing a meal to my liking … or even a meal at all. Shrug.

The older I get, the more I subscribe to the You do You newsletter. I would love to attend a wedding with Mickey and Minnie.

 

[Dear Prudence]

I feel like this is an off-shoot of #SwedenGate almost

 

[Pepper's Ghost]

I was TOTALLY joking, of course

Oops. I missed the sarcasm.