Sigh, I have just got back from one of the most disheartening experiences I have ever had in my days of amusement park adventuring. Why was it so horrible, you ask? Because this is the tale of a day at a park that was truly destined to be a player in the thrill park wars, but Premier has pretty much taken that title away. How? Well, read on.
So I show up at SF at 12:00 PM after spending a few hours at the Lawn and Garden Expo (now THAT was worth the ride out there solely because of the free food given out a Kohler booth. Kohler Engines, you rock!). Knowing that the park is not even remotely worth the $34.95 that they squeeze out of their patrons, I got wise and bought some discount tickets at the Expo for $17. Yep, I think that is about all this park is worth now.
So now I'm at the gate, waiting in a line about 10 people deep in front of the ONE turnstile open to get into the place, on a Friday afternoon in the middle of summer! Yes people, this park has an attendance problem. After going through the turnstile and the metal detectors, I stare up at the "Hellevator," a 16-story drop ride that at it's time was the tallest in the world. You can thank the City of Louisville for that. After it had been there for 5 or 6 years, it seemed kinda tame. Now that Kings Dominion has announced that it is building a 305-foot gyro drop tower, it seems kinda pathetic. Oh well, maybe it wouldn't seem so bad if Premier hadn't thrown in this dinky fountain in front, but what the heck. Turning left, I come upon several buildings that haven't been painted since Premier took over 4 years ago. Now, when Louisville ran the place, it wasn't Disney or Universal, but the joint was marginally clean and maintained. Thank you Six Flags.
Moving on, I see one of three things that have been added to the park since Premier started trashing it 4 years ago, the Roadrunner Express. Believe it or not, this wild mouse ride is actually themed (to the desert). A little better than Primeval Whirl even. Okay, that's not saying much. Unfortunately, they decided to throw some brakes onto it, so it sucks now. Thank you Six Flags.
After that, there is a swinging boat ride that hasn't been worked on in 4 years, and a 150 foot skycoaster (extra charge, of course). They used to have a Vekoma boomerang back here (called the Vampire) back in the old Louisville days, but they wised up and got rid of it.
Since I got on ONE (count it!) ride back there, I figured that it was time to cross the "DAMN BRIDGE." The Damn Bridge, if you haven't heard of it, is what many people affectionately call the bridge that visitors to the park have to walk over to get to the other half of the park. Why? Because the main access road for the parking to the convention center and SF (keep in mind that they share the same parking lot, as well as Freedom Hall, a 15,000+ seat arena) runs right through the middle of the place. The first ramp up isn't so bad, but on the other side, you have to go down a ramp, go back UNDER the bridge, and walk back around to the other section of the park when all that was needed were a few steps. The bridge is actually necessary, and there is nothing that can be done about the bridge itself, but come on Six Flags, can you at least put up a few freaking steps to make our life a little easier? Apparently not.
Next up, I decided to hit Chang, one of the park's three coasters that are worth riding. Well, it is barely worth it. At one time, when Louisville ran the place, they debuted this B&M stand-up coaster to the world. At the time, it was the world's tallest, fastest, and had the most inversions of any coaster before it. 6 years later? It is still the park's premier coaster (no pun intended). I hear all of you folks in CA that just got off of Stealth snickering now, so shut up, it's getting on my nerves. But it gets better. Not only has the coaster NEVER been repainted since Premier took over, but they haven't even cut the grass! There are weeds taller than Paul Wright growing next to the switchbacks! But wait, there's more! Along the posts next to the queue, there is the "MONUMENT TO CHEWING GUM." The station for Chang was built nearly 20 feet above the ground, and I kid you not, EVERY inch of the posts holding it up are covered in chewing gum. How pathetic. The place is also littered with graffiti, all dating back to the year Premier took over, 1998. But hey, this ride is one of the best, right? HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NO! What in the heck are they thinking? I thought I was riding a Vekoma stand-up coaster, not a B&M! After being shaken around like a rag doll on this coaster, I can understand why all of these senators are railing on the parks about brain damage. After getting off, I discovered that the well paved path back to the main walkway has now been closed off, and all guests are re-routed through a gift shop on an old access path. Thank you Six Flags.
After the pounding headache I got from Chang, I figured it was time to make it worse. Yep, it is time for T2.
Back in the good old days, Louisville opened the very first suspended coaster in America. It was a Vekoma coaster, and it was good. Nearly 10 years later? It sucks now, and needs to be replaced. Surprisingly, I didn't get the beating on this that I expected. Heck, it wasn't even as bad as Chang! When Six Flags took over 4 years ago, they decided to paint the coaster black and rename it "Batman: The Ride." Well, everybody still called it T2, so the name change didn't last long. But get this, they did not even paint the station at all! The black paint stops at the shelter and gives way to the original red track in the loading area. How cheap. Thank you Six Flags.
After T2, I entered the ONE improvement that SF made when they took over, and that is the Penguin's Blizzard River. The raft ride is actually pretty good, and (gasp!) well themed. At one point you even go into the Penguin's laboratory. Not bad for Six Flags. They also have a unique loading area for this raft ride. On every other ride I have seen, the loading area has a turntable with the boats turning in sync with the table. Not here. Instead, they have the same loading as you would find on any log flume or standard boat ride, with a conveyor belt system pulling the boat along to a complete stop to allow passengers to board. Thank you Six Flags.
Whew, I have a headache now, so it is time to get a drink. Well, where in the heck can I get one? The walk to the back of the park is absolutely barren, I mean, there is NOTHING. Back when Louisville ran the place, they installed an up charge drag racer attraction and a couple of simulators. The pathway to Twisted Sisters, of whatever they call it now, had numerous vendor cars for people to buy a drink and watch the races on the grandstands built beside the strip. In addition, they also added a couple of up charge racing simulators. Now? The vendor carts and simulators are gone, leaving a wipe open and barren path. This normally wouldn't be a problem, but you have to walk AROUND the park's huge wooden coaster, "Thunder Run." Yes, this provides some excellent views of the ride, but on a hot day like today, it is not wanted. Thank you Six Flags.
Finally, after walking for a good 5 minutes through absolutely nothing, I hoped to find a drink in the Wilderness themed section where Twisted Twins is located (Louisville's money spent here, of course. Believe it or not, the theming here is actually pretty good). Well.. drink stand: closed. Midway games: closed. Fast food stand: closed. Everything back here, with the SOLE EXCEPTION of Twisted Twins was closed. Ugh. Maybe I'll just ride the coaster and get the heck out of here.
Wow, this coaster is excellent. Right before Premier took over, the last ride built under Louisville was Twisted Sisters, the first ever dueling wooden coaster by CCI [cries in pillow at the news of CCI's closure]. And good lord, what a ride! With CCI, you can count on one thing, and that is speed, speed, and more speed. And it delivers. One side of the coaster (can't remember the names), is all about hills and airtime, going for an all-out thrill. The other is all about corners, with a nice helix as it's finale. When you add the fly-by following two 10-story drops facing each other, this is coaster riding bliss. And since the ride is new, it hasn't had time to sit around and rot, so I guess it is relatively safe. As a plus, they had both sides actually running today, which meant that not only did the ride have an extraordinarily high capacity for KK, we actually got to race each other! Wow!
Well, after that ride, I started looking at the park in a whole new light. For a change, this section was actually CLEAN. It felt good to walk around and not have to kick a Pepsi bottle out of the way (although with every drink stand and vendor cart closed, I can’t figure out where they were coming from)! Along the way back to the DAMN BRIDGE, this section of the park actually has shade. Very nice. To the left, I saw that Mile High Falls was actually running. Not being in the mood to get soaked, I decided to settle for getting splashed from the huge wave this thing kicks up. And believe me, this thing kicks up a HUGE WAVE!!! Next to Perilous Plunge, I think this might be the tallest flume (or whatever it's called) ride in the world, topping out at 90 feet.
Now it is time for another example of Darwinism from Six Flags. I might be wrong, but at one time I remember a path that ran directly from MHF to Thunder Run. Why is it closed? To make everybody walk through the other kiddieland here (and well themed, Louisville built it) to get to the coaster! What a mess. By being forced to walk through here, I noticed that SF has taken out several of the flat rides that used to be back here. I don't know if they were moved to the "Movieland" up front or not, but it is a very depressing sight. But all is not lost, because the park's other excellent coaster is coming up: Thunder Run.
Thunder Run is an example of SF doing something RIGHT. A few years ago, this ride delivered a BEATING. However, it was re-tracked a couple of years ago, and not only is the ride somewhat smooth, but it is actually enjoyable. Heck, it is one of the better wooden coasters I have been on! It starts out with a 10-story drop, the sharpest ever built back in 1990 when it opened. After that, instead of going up another hill, it does something different. You take on a 70 degree banked turn and turn right back around in the direction you came from. This sets you up for three back-to back bunny hops, each one taller than the one before it, somehow delivering more airtime on each one. The last hill is so intense that you never even land back on your seat until the next curve. After that element, you turn back around into the supports for the left and negotiate a few curves and another bunny hill before hitting the brakes. Short, but sweet.
Well, after that Six Flags shows it's ugly head again. I must ask, why is Quake still here? Quake is a Vekoma Whatki Wave/whattheheck. In English: a watered down top spin. And I mean watered down, this thing does not even go upside down... when it works. You see, Quake hasn't worked in 4 years, and for past two, it has been stock in the right arm up/left arm down position, prompting everyone who sees it to wonder if they will see it again on the 5 o'clock news.
Up ahead, I found the ONE restaurant in the park that was open. Thankfully, it was Swampwater Jacks. The food here is pretty good, excellent for a Six Flags. But the reason I like the place is because the theming. There are gas pumps out back, a creek that runs around it, tons of fishing equipment inside, it all actually makes you think it was yanked out of the bayou. Too bad its stuck in Six Flags.
Finally, I decided to check out the slingshot they built for this year (up charge, of course) and see if there was a wait. There wasn't, and I saw a sign in front of it that said they were charging $10 for it. What the heck, everything's worth a shot once. When I got up to the ticket booth though, I found out that the $10 charge was actually a special, and that on a normal day they charge $20 FREAKIN' BUCKS FOR THIS THING!!! Geez! A few minutes later, I was strapped in with an employee tagging along for the ride. While we were waiting for the ride st start up, I said, "Gee, today's crowd is light for a Friday, isn't it?" He turned to me and said, "Are you kidding? We're busy today!" I did not wait for a single ride there, so if they consider that busy, then there is definitely something wrong here.
As for the Slingshot itself? Not bad. Definitely not worth $20 though.
One thing I have not touched on here is the Hurricane Bay water park, as I did not go today. However, I can say that this is a very nice park, or it was when Louisville ran it. It is basically Typhoon Lagoon Lite, but that is not a bad thing for a regional park. It is head and shoulders above something like Raging Waters on 192 in Kissimmee.
Well, that about wraps it up. This park is one sob story if I have ever seen one. Honestly, if they were going to let the place sit there and rot, they should have at least not slapped the Six Flags name on it. The only reason I can think of that they bought this place is because Louisville was turning this park into a real contender. They built the first ever drop ride (Hellavator), the first ever dueling wooden roller coaster, the tallest and fastest stand-up coaster in the world, the tallest flume ride in the world, and the first ever Vekoma suspended coaster all in the span of a few years. I can only imagine that if the park were still left in the good hands of Kentucky, instead of being Premier's whipping boy, this park would have them running from the Midwest. This is actually why I think they bought it. Instead of letting KK turn into a real threat for the Six Flags parks in Ohio and St. Louis, they could just buy it out and let it disappear from the radar.
Why couldn't Cedar Fair have bought this place out?
If anyone is interested in seeing some photos of Kentucky Kingdom, I found this page with some shots of the park's coasters:
http://www.coastergallery.com/SF/sfkk.html
So I show up at SF at 12:00 PM after spending a few hours at the Lawn and Garden Expo (now THAT was worth the ride out there solely because of the free food given out a Kohler booth. Kohler Engines, you rock!). Knowing that the park is not even remotely worth the $34.95 that they squeeze out of their patrons, I got wise and bought some discount tickets at the Expo for $17. Yep, I think that is about all this park is worth now.
So now I'm at the gate, waiting in a line about 10 people deep in front of the ONE turnstile open to get into the place, on a Friday afternoon in the middle of summer! Yes people, this park has an attendance problem. After going through the turnstile and the metal detectors, I stare up at the "Hellevator," a 16-story drop ride that at it's time was the tallest in the world. You can thank the City of Louisville for that. After it had been there for 5 or 6 years, it seemed kinda tame. Now that Kings Dominion has announced that it is building a 305-foot gyro drop tower, it seems kinda pathetic. Oh well, maybe it wouldn't seem so bad if Premier hadn't thrown in this dinky fountain in front, but what the heck. Turning left, I come upon several buildings that haven't been painted since Premier took over 4 years ago. Now, when Louisville ran the place, it wasn't Disney or Universal, but the joint was marginally clean and maintained. Thank you Six Flags.
Moving on, I see one of three things that have been added to the park since Premier started trashing it 4 years ago, the Roadrunner Express. Believe it or not, this wild mouse ride is actually themed (to the desert). A little better than Primeval Whirl even. Okay, that's not saying much. Unfortunately, they decided to throw some brakes onto it, so it sucks now. Thank you Six Flags.
After that, there is a swinging boat ride that hasn't been worked on in 4 years, and a 150 foot skycoaster (extra charge, of course). They used to have a Vekoma boomerang back here (called the Vampire) back in the old Louisville days, but they wised up and got rid of it.
Since I got on ONE (count it!) ride back there, I figured that it was time to cross the "DAMN BRIDGE." The Damn Bridge, if you haven't heard of it, is what many people affectionately call the bridge that visitors to the park have to walk over to get to the other half of the park. Why? Because the main access road for the parking to the convention center and SF (keep in mind that they share the same parking lot, as well as Freedom Hall, a 15,000+ seat arena) runs right through the middle of the place. The first ramp up isn't so bad, but on the other side, you have to go down a ramp, go back UNDER the bridge, and walk back around to the other section of the park when all that was needed were a few steps. The bridge is actually necessary, and there is nothing that can be done about the bridge itself, but come on Six Flags, can you at least put up a few freaking steps to make our life a little easier? Apparently not.
Next up, I decided to hit Chang, one of the park's three coasters that are worth riding. Well, it is barely worth it. At one time, when Louisville ran the place, they debuted this B&M stand-up coaster to the world. At the time, it was the world's tallest, fastest, and had the most inversions of any coaster before it. 6 years later? It is still the park's premier coaster (no pun intended). I hear all of you folks in CA that just got off of Stealth snickering now, so shut up, it's getting on my nerves. But it gets better. Not only has the coaster NEVER been repainted since Premier took over, but they haven't even cut the grass! There are weeds taller than Paul Wright growing next to the switchbacks! But wait, there's more! Along the posts next to the queue, there is the "MONUMENT TO CHEWING GUM." The station for Chang was built nearly 20 feet above the ground, and I kid you not, EVERY inch of the posts holding it up are covered in chewing gum. How pathetic. The place is also littered with graffiti, all dating back to the year Premier took over, 1998. But hey, this ride is one of the best, right? HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NO! What in the heck are they thinking? I thought I was riding a Vekoma stand-up coaster, not a B&M! After being shaken around like a rag doll on this coaster, I can understand why all of these senators are railing on the parks about brain damage. After getting off, I discovered that the well paved path back to the main walkway has now been closed off, and all guests are re-routed through a gift shop on an old access path. Thank you Six Flags.
After the pounding headache I got from Chang, I figured it was time to make it worse. Yep, it is time for T2.
Back in the good old days, Louisville opened the very first suspended coaster in America. It was a Vekoma coaster, and it was good. Nearly 10 years later? It sucks now, and needs to be replaced. Surprisingly, I didn't get the beating on this that I expected. Heck, it wasn't even as bad as Chang! When Six Flags took over 4 years ago, they decided to paint the coaster black and rename it "Batman: The Ride." Well, everybody still called it T2, so the name change didn't last long. But get this, they did not even paint the station at all! The black paint stops at the shelter and gives way to the original red track in the loading area. How cheap. Thank you Six Flags.
After T2, I entered the ONE improvement that SF made when they took over, and that is the Penguin's Blizzard River. The raft ride is actually pretty good, and (gasp!) well themed. At one point you even go into the Penguin's laboratory. Not bad for Six Flags. They also have a unique loading area for this raft ride. On every other ride I have seen, the loading area has a turntable with the boats turning in sync with the table. Not here. Instead, they have the same loading as you would find on any log flume or standard boat ride, with a conveyor belt system pulling the boat along to a complete stop to allow passengers to board. Thank you Six Flags.
Whew, I have a headache now, so it is time to get a drink. Well, where in the heck can I get one? The walk to the back of the park is absolutely barren, I mean, there is NOTHING. Back when Louisville ran the place, they installed an up charge drag racer attraction and a couple of simulators. The pathway to Twisted Sisters, of whatever they call it now, had numerous vendor cars for people to buy a drink and watch the races on the grandstands built beside the strip. In addition, they also added a couple of up charge racing simulators. Now? The vendor carts and simulators are gone, leaving a wipe open and barren path. This normally wouldn't be a problem, but you have to walk AROUND the park's huge wooden coaster, "Thunder Run." Yes, this provides some excellent views of the ride, but on a hot day like today, it is not wanted. Thank you Six Flags.
Finally, after walking for a good 5 minutes through absolutely nothing, I hoped to find a drink in the Wilderness themed section where Twisted Twins is located (Louisville's money spent here, of course. Believe it or not, the theming here is actually pretty good). Well.. drink stand: closed. Midway games: closed. Fast food stand: closed. Everything back here, with the SOLE EXCEPTION of Twisted Twins was closed. Ugh. Maybe I'll just ride the coaster and get the heck out of here.
Wow, this coaster is excellent. Right before Premier took over, the last ride built under Louisville was Twisted Sisters, the first ever dueling wooden coaster by CCI [cries in pillow at the news of CCI's closure]. And good lord, what a ride! With CCI, you can count on one thing, and that is speed, speed, and more speed. And it delivers. One side of the coaster (can't remember the names), is all about hills and airtime, going for an all-out thrill. The other is all about corners, with a nice helix as it's finale. When you add the fly-by following two 10-story drops facing each other, this is coaster riding bliss. And since the ride is new, it hasn't had time to sit around and rot, so I guess it is relatively safe. As a plus, they had both sides actually running today, which meant that not only did the ride have an extraordinarily high capacity for KK, we actually got to race each other! Wow!
Well, after that ride, I started looking at the park in a whole new light. For a change, this section was actually CLEAN. It felt good to walk around and not have to kick a Pepsi bottle out of the way (although with every drink stand and vendor cart closed, I can’t figure out where they were coming from)! Along the way back to the DAMN BRIDGE, this section of the park actually has shade. Very nice. To the left, I saw that Mile High Falls was actually running. Not being in the mood to get soaked, I decided to settle for getting splashed from the huge wave this thing kicks up. And believe me, this thing kicks up a HUGE WAVE!!! Next to Perilous Plunge, I think this might be the tallest flume (or whatever it's called) ride in the world, topping out at 90 feet.
Now it is time for another example of Darwinism from Six Flags. I might be wrong, but at one time I remember a path that ran directly from MHF to Thunder Run. Why is it closed? To make everybody walk through the other kiddieland here (and well themed, Louisville built it) to get to the coaster! What a mess. By being forced to walk through here, I noticed that SF has taken out several of the flat rides that used to be back here. I don't know if they were moved to the "Movieland" up front or not, but it is a very depressing sight. But all is not lost, because the park's other excellent coaster is coming up: Thunder Run.
Thunder Run is an example of SF doing something RIGHT. A few years ago, this ride delivered a BEATING. However, it was re-tracked a couple of years ago, and not only is the ride somewhat smooth, but it is actually enjoyable. Heck, it is one of the better wooden coasters I have been on! It starts out with a 10-story drop, the sharpest ever built back in 1990 when it opened. After that, instead of going up another hill, it does something different. You take on a 70 degree banked turn and turn right back around in the direction you came from. This sets you up for three back-to back bunny hops, each one taller than the one before it, somehow delivering more airtime on each one. The last hill is so intense that you never even land back on your seat until the next curve. After that element, you turn back around into the supports for the left and negotiate a few curves and another bunny hill before hitting the brakes. Short, but sweet.
Well, after that Six Flags shows it's ugly head again. I must ask, why is Quake still here? Quake is a Vekoma Whatki Wave/whattheheck. In English: a watered down top spin. And I mean watered down, this thing does not even go upside down... when it works. You see, Quake hasn't worked in 4 years, and for past two, it has been stock in the right arm up/left arm down position, prompting everyone who sees it to wonder if they will see it again on the 5 o'clock news.
Up ahead, I found the ONE restaurant in the park that was open. Thankfully, it was Swampwater Jacks. The food here is pretty good, excellent for a Six Flags. But the reason I like the place is because the theming. There are gas pumps out back, a creek that runs around it, tons of fishing equipment inside, it all actually makes you think it was yanked out of the bayou. Too bad its stuck in Six Flags.
Finally, I decided to check out the slingshot they built for this year (up charge, of course) and see if there was a wait. There wasn't, and I saw a sign in front of it that said they were charging $10 for it. What the heck, everything's worth a shot once. When I got up to the ticket booth though, I found out that the $10 charge was actually a special, and that on a normal day they charge $20 FREAKIN' BUCKS FOR THIS THING!!! Geez! A few minutes later, I was strapped in with an employee tagging along for the ride. While we were waiting for the ride st start up, I said, "Gee, today's crowd is light for a Friday, isn't it?" He turned to me and said, "Are you kidding? We're busy today!" I did not wait for a single ride there, so if they consider that busy, then there is definitely something wrong here.
As for the Slingshot itself? Not bad. Definitely not worth $20 though.
One thing I have not touched on here is the Hurricane Bay water park, as I did not go today. However, I can say that this is a very nice park, or it was when Louisville ran it. It is basically Typhoon Lagoon Lite, but that is not a bad thing for a regional park. It is head and shoulders above something like Raging Waters on 192 in Kissimmee.
Well, that about wraps it up. This park is one sob story if I have ever seen one. Honestly, if they were going to let the place sit there and rot, they should have at least not slapped the Six Flags name on it. The only reason I can think of that they bought this place is because Louisville was turning this park into a real contender. They built the first ever drop ride (Hellavator), the first ever dueling wooden roller coaster, the tallest and fastest stand-up coaster in the world, the tallest flume ride in the world, and the first ever Vekoma suspended coaster all in the span of a few years. I can only imagine that if the park were still left in the good hands of Kentucky, instead of being Premier's whipping boy, this park would have them running from the Midwest. This is actually why I think they bought it. Instead of letting KK turn into a real threat for the Six Flags parks in Ohio and St. Louis, they could just buy it out and let it disappear from the radar.
Why couldn't Cedar Fair have bought this place out?
If anyone is interested in seeing some photos of Kentucky Kingdom, I found this page with some shots of the park's coasters:
http://www.coastergallery.com/SF/sfkk.html
