Trip Report The Tuvalu Chronicles ~ Chapter 25 *COMPLETED*

Welcome, welcome, welcome to my 25th trip report.

Over the past five years, I have loved chronicling my WDW adventures with fellow forum readers who share my Disney passion. Writing keeps the magic alive for me. Discussions that result from your comments are icing on the cake! I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my posts. (And for those of you who have been following from the beginning ~ THANK YOU!!)

All my reports have been live, live-ish, or shortly-afterwards.....except one. In 2016 I wrote a retro TR detailing my first visit to the park that forever captivated my heart. You can read about it here. Or you can merely mock the photo below which is proof positive I cannot pull off wearing a hat.

7E346929-4002-4A40-B82D-5A96EF7476D0.png


Similar in style to last summer’s novel, this report will incorporate my June, July and August vacations. The ship has already sailed for a live report for June, but I may attempt some live updates in July/August. Or not. :hilarious:

Trip #1
Who: Tuvalu and Em
When: June 8-13, 2019
Where: Disney’s Wilderness Lodge

118537E3-D4CC-4761-9D22-4CF84E735DEB.jpeg


Did we meet the Wicked Queen? Who got shoved in the Haunted Mansion? Did the rain rain rain come down down down? Was there an attraction evac? Did one of us really cause a ride to shut down?

Answers to come!

(Special thanks to @krisri18 for another trip report title! 💕)
 

Tuvalu

Premium Member
Original Poster
The adventure in Galaxy’s Edge continues......

I really wish @riverside could write the captions for the following photos. She had me in stitches when reading her SW:GE comments from her visit. I thought of her as I wandered around, trying to appreciate strange things that I hadn’t a clue what they were. (Em later remarked, “We need to tour Star Wars Land with @riverside! The three of us would be in constant clueless laughter!”)

This picture was time-stamped the same as the one I thought was the entrance to the Marketplace. I’m thinking it may have been the entrance to something else?

5F404BE4-23CC-4969-922A-1F4C74CC1222.jpeg


But whatever was the actual entrance, I’m fairly certain we made it into the Marketplace as the following pics can attest ~

D85FA196-28BB-49BC-82B6-99422C1D33B9.jpeg


Good to know there’s potties here. While I typically check out new facilities I did not venture inside. (Can’t imagine there would be any flowers anyway!)

06DAEB9B-371D-4E4F-801A-D00FF4FE5968.jpeg


I was so proud of myself when I figured out the next object.
“Woody, this must be the Black Spire!”

C3A3C32C-84A7-4E3A-8775-4A22A8A26175.jpeg

Which would make our current location the Black Spire Outpost! An Outpost is the same as a Marketplace, right?

I know a water fountain when I see one. Water must be scarce on Batuu if giant tanks are required to hold it.

744CE093-8213-4703-ABF1-1C253E801A1C.jpeg


A droid! I know what droids are! Didn’t know charging ports needed to be so high though.

99B70014-48CF-471C-B163-FE238506E646.jpeg


I like water. I like Coke. Just not enough to pay the alien premium for either.

A57D8C7E-7011-41C8-81F2-6C89F1C445AC.jpeg


Meat.....GOOD.

06AA31FD-26C7-4392-8A0F-B4B172A09FA2.jpeg


The Timekeeper has found himself a new job!

34D40796-A473-408F-A349-523D7AF0814F.jpeg


79E79448-6180-45FE-9FF0-12FBDD21ECAA.jpeg
 

Tuvalu

Premium Member
Original Poster
Stormtroopers led us to the ONE thing I was most excited to see in person.

04B7F28C-FE40-428E-BF94-70C8D44547CA.jpeg


My little brother had a Millennium Falcon that was his pride and joy. My son had one too.

795C5F53-48B6-40B5-A48B-8570BDDD55D5.jpeg


The wait to board was 95 minutes. I was perfectly content observing the MF from the outside.

9450F4FB-4A75-4FC9-B474-D5027A8123B9.jpeg


But waiting in line for a PP picture was non-negotiable. I had to send one to the boys. Actually we’d already passed a few other PP spots that were an absolute hot mess ~ people cutting in line, no organization whatsoever. Fortunately this area was orderly and in only a couple minutes it was our turn.

8D447B8A-4350-4A82-AF13-107201F24760.jpeg


I told you I was clueless. But what’s Woody’s excuse? And what the heck ARE we looking at?

29E4FF38-742F-43E5-AA97-F6C4FA3BCD6A.jpeg


We moved on.

Now correct me if I’m wrong but......

.....I think I see a Tie Fighter?

716194B0-A125-45B0-A545-63E834830EEA.jpeg


We didn’t get to see Chewie, Darth, Luke, Kylo Ren, or Rey. (Yep, I’m name dropping!) However there were many costumed CMs walking about and speaking lingo to no one in particular. Not our thing, but I have recently been known to utter Bright Suns! 😜

Speaking of sun, it was getting VERY HOT on Batuu. We’d only been there about a half hour but we were done. We did not want to exit into Toy Story Land, because if there is one place hotter than SW:GE it would be TSL. So we doubled back towards the Grand Avenue entrance/exit. Woody took a few more pictures along the way.

DE9E70DA-8DD7-4003-834D-010E8993F5A4.jpeg


DROIDS!!

0A9D32F9-CC54-4680-99F3-B0D5F1E1B1C3.jpeg


I cannot tell the difference between old rusty stuff and new rusty stuff.

40ABE7BF-A6F4-4A6F-878A-E7403C7FB717.jpeg


I believe the Stormtroopers were signaling us to GET OUT.

50BB2EF2-BBE6-4169-93F3-0C3BBA661895.jpeg


Our first visit may have ended, but I’m sure we’ll be back.....after the crowds for the biggie attraction (RotR) die down. (Which may not be until 2025....or just next year, if the projected attendance doesn’t materialize. :hilarious:)
 
Last edited:

riverside

Premium Member
I really wish @riverside could write the captions for the following photos. She had me in stitches when reading her SW:GE comments from her visit. I thought of her as I wandered around, trying to appreciate strange things that I hadn’t a clue what they were. (Em later remarked, “We need to tour Star Wars Land with @riverside! The three of us would be in constant clueless laughter!”)
🤣🤣🤣I think you did a pretty job with the commentary!!
Whenever we meet again we'll definitely have to do that!! I'm already laughing thinking about how that would play out!!
Speaking of sun, it was getting VERY HOT on Batuu. We’d only been there about a half hour but we were done.
Waaaaayyy too hot!! You lasted there as long as my sister & nephew did!!:hilarious:
 

Tuvalu

Premium Member
Original Poster
Woody and I were ready for air conditioning.

And lunch.

OMG look what was FINALLY open!!!

83FACD06-E39B-4AD8-A78C-C4D21B711687.jpeg


3882434F-6904-4102-A17B-5112D8D5131E.jpeg


Had I known this in advance, I might have cancelled our ADR (and, in hindsight, should have!) However I’m not sure I could have eaten at PizzeRizzo guilt-free without Em.

So instead we wandered in here ~

B53DBFEE-F98A-4D53-9980-DF7FAF582131.jpeg


AC12FFD3-F6EB-4986-8800-C19A08E1CE7D.jpeg


After I posted the above picture, I noticed that all the framed head shots on the wall are crooked.
“Well that’s dumb!” I mused.
I looked again and noticed the cracked plaster with now-exposed brick peeking through. (You can also see this in the photo below.)
And then it hit me.
It’s damage from the Muppet Theater explosion, you idiot!!!!
I’ve been eating in Mama Melrose’s for 25 years and never made the connection.
Until now. :facepalm:


7C8BBFF8-5E07-48AB-B2C4-E9BDFB5748F8.jpeg


The restaurant was mostly empty and we were seated right away.

79AB7450-4EBB-4A43-A306-3A015C50BA10.jpeg


It frustrates me that we never get seated in a booth at Mama’s, even when plenty are available. Today was the today I should have spoken up and requested a change, since we might have been spared the Annoying Server from Hell (henceforth known as ASH).

Right away he wanted to get chummy with us.
“I’m ASH!” he exclaimed. “And you are?” He extended his hand to Woody.
“Um, Woody.”
“Hiya Woody!” Then he looked at me. “And what’s your name?”
“Tuvalu.” I hope he doesn’t want to shake my hand. Oh carp, there it is.

He then launched into a big spiel about how we MUST visit Star Wars Land! It’s amazing! The best thing Disney’s ever done! He didn’t even pause to give us the chance to say, WE JUST CAME FROM THERE!!

Then, before we could order our drinks (we were dying of thirst) ASH began to tell us ALL ABOUT MAMA MELROSE’S, as if we were newbies and hadn’t already eaten there dozens of times.

All I want is a glass of water, I remember thinking. Please stop talking and bring us water.

What can I get for you, Woody?” ASH asked.

Before Woody could answer I interrupted with, “We both need water first. And we aren’t in a hurry and need to cool off. We would like to take our time with lunch.”

ASH was insistent he take our order anyway. Without missing a beat he asked, “What would you like with your water, Tuvalu?”

That’s how our entire meal went ~ at the end of EVERY sentence, ASH called us by name. It got to the point that I murmured to Woody, If he calls me Tuvalu one more time.....

ASH brought our waters and rolls at the same time. Ordinarily I love Mama’s rolls. They are warm, soft and doughy, perfect for dipping in the peppered olive oil.

71CA766F-BF78-448E-AFC2-3877B2C69895.jpeg


Mama’s rolls aren’t supposed to be dark brown. They aren’t supposed to be hard. Or crunchy.

(They would have been perfect for throwing at ASH, however.)

One bite and I was done. Not to worry though! I wouldn’t have had time to finish a roll anyway, since chipper ASH immediately appeared with our entrées.

So much for a relaxed lunch, I thought.

“Can I get you anything else, Woody? How about you, Tuvalu?”

How about a moment to actually TASTE our food?!! I wanted to scream.

It should come as no surprise that the food from our last table service meal of the trip was “meh.” Since I’d just had steak the night before, I opted for Chicken Parmesan instead of Mama’s signature charred strip steak. Big mistake.

6B72AE1F-7424-4796-8E5F-0AE93EFBB9FF.jpeg


I barely ate half. ASH was stunned I did not want a to-go box. “It’s one of our most popular items!”

Woody did a better job finishing his Four Cheese Pasta with Chicken and did not have to suffer the wrath of ASH.

47C29F40-F4F7-4917-A01E-FCF463DFE3F6.jpeg


Thankfully ASH did not make a fuss when we declined dessert.

“Come back and see me, Woody and Tuvalu, next time you’re here at Disney’s Hollywood Studios!”

For you ASH, there’ll be no next time.
 
Last edited:

krisri18

Well-Known Member
Woody and I were ready for air conditioning.

And lunch.

OMG look what was FINALLY open!!!

View attachment 421998

View attachment 421999

Had I known this in advance, I might have cancelled our ADR (and, in hindsight, should have!) However I’m not sure I could have eaten at PizzeRizzo guilt-free without Em.

So instead we wandered in here ~

View attachment 422000

View attachment 422002

After I posted the above picture, I noticed that all the framed head shots on the wall are crooked.
“Well that’s dumb!” I mused.
I looked again and noticed the cracked plaster with now-exposed brick peeking through. (You can also see this in the photo below.)
And then it hit me.
It’s damage from the Muppet Theater explosion, you idiot!!!!
I’ve been eating in Mama Melrose’s for 25 years and never made the connection.
Until now. :facepalm:


View attachment 422001

The restaurant was mostly empty and we were seated right away.

View attachment 422004

It frustrates me that we never get seated in a booth at Mama’s, even when plenty are available. Today was the today I should have spoken up and requested a change, since we might have been spared the Annoying Server from Hell (henceforth known as ASH).

Right away he wanted to get chummy with us.
“I’m ASH!” he exclaimed. “And you are?” He extended his hand to Woody.
“Um, Woody.”
“Hiya Woody!” Then he looked at me. “And what’s your name?”
“Tuvalu.” I hope he doesn’t want to shake my hand. Oh carp, there it is.

He then launched into a big spiel about how we MUST visit Star Wars Land! It’s amazing! The best thing Disney’s ever done! He didn’t even pause to give us the chance to say, WE JUST CAME FROM THERE!!

Then, before we could order our drinks (we were dying of thirst) ASH began to tell us ALL ABOUT MAMA MELROSE’S, as if we were newbies and hadn’t already eaten there dozens of times.

All I want is a glass of water, I remember thinking. Please stop talking and bring us water.

What can I get for you, Woody?” ASH asked.

Before Woody could answer I interrupted with, “We both need water first. And we aren’t in a hurryand would like to take our time with lunch.”

ASH was insistent he take our order anyway. Without missing a beat he asked, “What would you like with your water, Tuvalu?”

That’s how our entire meal went ~ at the end of EVERY sentence, ASH called us by name. It got to the point that I murmured to Woody, If he calls me Tuvalu one more time.....

ASH brought our waters and rolls at the same time. Ordinarily I love Mama’s rolls. They are warm, soft and doughy, perfect for dipping in the peppered olive oil.

View attachment 422005

Mama’s rolls aren’t supposed to be dark brown. They aren’t supposed to be hard. Or crunchy.

(They would have been perfect for throwing at ASH, however.)

One bite and I was done. Not to worry though! I wouldn’t have had time to finish a roll anyway, since chipper ASH immediately appeared with our entrées.

So much for a relaxed lunch, I thought.

“Can I get you anything else, Woody? How about you, Tuvalu?”

How about a moment to actually TASTE our food?!! I wanted to scream.

It should come as no surprise that the food from our last table service meal of the trip was “meh.” Since I’d just had steak the night before, I opted for Chicken Parmesan instead of Mama’s signature charred strip steak. Big mistake.

View attachment 422006

I barely ate half. ASH was stunned I did not want a to-go box. “It’s one of our most popular items!”

Woody did a better job finishing his Four Cheese Pasta with Chicken and did not have to suffer the wrath of ASH.

View attachment 422007

Thankfully ASH did not make a fuss when we declined dessert.

“Come back and see me, Woody and Tuvalu, next time you’re here at Disney’s Hollywood Studios!”

For you ASH, there’ll be no next time.
I bet ASH is friends with Callan.
 

93boomer

Premium Member
Woody and I were ready for air conditioning.

And lunch.

OMG look what was FINALLY open!!!

View attachment 421998

View attachment 421999

Had I known this in advance, I might have cancelled our ADR (and, in hindsight, should have!) However I’m not sure I could have eaten at PizzeRizzo guilt-free without Em.

So instead we wandered in here ~

View attachment 422000

View attachment 422002

After I posted the above picture, I noticed that all the framed head shots on the wall are crooked.
“Well that’s dumb!” I mused.
I looked again and noticed the cracked plaster with now-exposed brick peeking through. (You can also see this in the photo below.)
And then it hit me.
It’s damage from the Muppet Theater explosion, you idiot!!!!
I’ve been eating in Mama Melrose’s for 25 years and never made the connection.
Until now. :facepalm:


View attachment 422001

The restaurant was mostly empty and we were seated right away.

View attachment 422004

It frustrates me that we never get seated in a booth at Mama’s, even when plenty are available. Today was the today I should have spoken up and requested a change, since we might have been spared the Annoying Server from Hell (henceforth known as ASH).

Right away he wanted to get chummy with us.
“I’m ASH!” he exclaimed. “And you are?” He extended his hand to Woody.
“Um, Woody.”
“Hiya Woody!” Then he looked at me. “And what’s your name?”
“Tuvalu.” I hope he doesn’t want to shake my hand. Oh carp, there it is.

He then launched into a big spiel about how we MUST visit Star Wars Land! It’s amazing! The best thing Disney’s ever done! He didn’t even pause to give us the chance to say, WE JUST CAME FROM THERE!!

Then, before we could order our drinks (we were dying of thirst) ASH began to tell us ALL ABOUT MAMA MELROSE’S, as if we were newbies and hadn’t already eaten there dozens of times.

All I want is a glass of water, I remember thinking. Please stop talking and bring us water.

What can I get for you, Woody?” ASH asked.

Before Woody could answer I interrupted with, “We both need water first. And we aren’t in a hurryand would like to take our time with lunch.”

ASH was insistent he take our order anyway. Without missing a beat he asked, “What would you like with your water, Tuvalu?”

That’s how our entire meal went ~ at the end of EVERY sentence, ASH called us by name. It got to the point that I murmured to Woody, If he calls me Tuvalu one more time.....

ASH brought our waters and rolls at the same time. Ordinarily I love Mama’s rolls. They are warm, soft and doughy, perfect for dipping in the peppered olive oil.

View attachment 422005

Mama’s rolls aren’t supposed to be dark brown. They aren’t supposed to be hard. Or crunchy.

(They would have been perfect for throwing at ASH, however.)

One bite and I was done. Not to worry though! I wouldn’t have had time to finish a roll anyway, since chipper ASH immediately appeared with our entrées.

So much for a relaxed lunch, I thought.

“Can I get you anything else, Woody? How about you, Tuvalu?”

How about a moment to actually TASTE our food?!! I wanted to scream.

It should come as no surprise that the food from our last table service meal of the trip was “meh.” Since I’d just had steak the night before, I opted for Chicken Parmesan instead of Mama’s signature charred strip steak. Big mistake.

View attachment 422006

I barely ate half. ASH was stunned I did not want a to-go box. “It’s one of our most popular items!”

Woody did a better job finishing his Four Cheese Pasta with Chicken and did not have to suffer the wrath of ASH.

View attachment 422007

Thankfully ASH did not make a fuss when we declined dessert.

“Come back and see me, Woody and Tuvalu, next time you’re here at Disney’s Hollywood Studios!”

For you ASH, there’ll be no next time.
I am so sorry about your lunch! But, I almost fell over from laughing from your experience! 👻 Thanks for making my day brighter!
 

Zipadeelady

Well-Known Member
Woody and I were ready for air conditioning.

And lunch.

OMG look what was FINALLY open!!!

View attachment 421998

View attachment 421999

Had I known this in advance, I might have cancelled our ADR (and, in hindsight, should have!) However I’m not sure I could have eaten at PizzeRizzo guilt-free without Em.

So instead we wandered in here ~

View attachment 422000

View attachment 422002

After I posted the above picture, I noticed that all the framed head shots on the wall are crooked.
“Well that’s dumb!” I mused.
I looked again and noticed the cracked plaster with now-exposed brick peeking through. (You can also see this in the photo below.)
And then it hit me.
It’s damage from the Muppet Theater explosion, you idiot!!!!
I’ve been eating in Mama Melrose’s for 25 years and never made the connection.
Until now. :facepalm:


View attachment 422001

The restaurant was mostly empty and we were seated right away.

View attachment 422004

It frustrates me that we never get seated in a booth at Mama’s, even when plenty are available. Today was the today I should have spoken up and requested a change, since we might have been spared the Annoying Server from Hell (henceforth known as ASH).

Right away he wanted to get chummy with us.
“I’m ASH!” he exclaimed. “And you are?” He extended his hand to Woody.
“Um, Woody.”
“Hiya Woody!” Then he looked at me. “And what’s your name?”
“Tuvalu.” I hope he doesn’t want to shake my hand. Oh carp, there it is.

He then launched into a big spiel about how we MUST visit Star Wars Land! It’s amazing! The best thing Disney’s ever done! He didn’t even pause to give us the chance to say, WE JUST CAME FROM THERE!!

Then, before we could order our drinks (we were dying of thirst) ASH began to tell us ALL ABOUT MAMA MELROSE’S, as if we were newbies and hadn’t already eaten there dozens of times.

All I want is a glass of water, I remember thinking. Please stop talking and bring us water.

What can I get for you, Woody?” ASH asked.

Before Woody could answer I interrupted with, “We both need water first. And we aren’t in a hurry and need to cool off. We would like to take our time with lunch.”

ASH was insistent he take our order anyway. Without missing a beat he asked, “What would you like with your water, Tuvalu?”

That’s how our entire meal went ~ at the end of EVERY sentence, ASH called us by name. It got to the point that I murmured to Woody, If he calls me Tuvalu one more time.....

ASH brought our waters and rolls at the same time. Ordinarily I love Mama’s rolls. They are warm, soft and doughy, perfect for dipping in the peppered olive oil.

View attachment 422005

Mama’s rolls aren’t supposed to be dark brown. They aren’t supposed to be hard. Or crunchy.

(They would have been perfect for throwing at ASH, however.)

One bite and I was done. Not to worry though! I wouldn’t have had time to finish a roll anyway, since chipper ASH immediately appeared with our entrées.

So much for a relaxed lunch, I thought.

“Can I get you anything else, Woody? How about you, Tuvalu?”

How about a moment to actually TASTE our food?!! I wanted to scream.

It should come as no surprise that the food from our last table service meal of the trip was “meh.” Since I’d just had steak the night before, I opted for Chicken Parmesan instead of Mama’s signature charred strip steak. Big mistake.

View attachment 422006

I barely ate half. ASH was stunned I did not want a to-go box. “It’s one of our most popular items!”

Woody did a better job finishing his Four Cheese Pasta with Chicken and did not have to suffer the wrath of ASH.

View attachment 422007

Thankfully ASH did not make a fuss when we declined dessert.

“Come back and see me, Woody and Tuvalu, next time you’re here at Disney’s Hollywood Studios!”

For you ASH, there’ll be no next time.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! I sat in the same seat as Tuvalu!! When I saw that pic of Woody it looked familiar. I think that deserves a Tuvalu Card!

IMG_1273.JPG


And that roll is definitely not dark. Ours were very soft and warm. No ASH in site. Sorry you had a bad experience.
 

Tuvalu

Premium Member
Original Poster
Since lunch had left something to be desired, Woody and I decided to hop over to Epcot and check out the Food & Wine Festival, which had also opened yesterday.

Weather was okay in front of the Chinese Theater.....

1E2DFFDD-F3A7-4FF9-B6B6-D28CE12DAF73.jpeg


....but by the time we exited the park things looked a bit more ominous.

DE6350A2-11F9-4697-ABAB-84028782C83A.jpeg

Gotta love that Florida sky rain line! But....

We got on the Friendship boat.

There was a lightning strike.

We had to get off the Friendship boat. It was now “out of service.”

Plan B then! B for bus, of course. And B for Beach Club, since we wanted to enter Epcot via the International Gateway. We made it to the bus depot just as the rain began. Only today we were prepared with umbrellas, unlike my last DHS visit with Em. ⛈

It rained all the way to Beach Club but was down to a sprinkle when we disembarked the bus. As we entered the lobby, someone surprised me!

F07966FC-F05E-47BE-B9B6-BFD3E8C52ED8.jpeg


She insisted I hand the camera to Woody so he could take a picture of both of us.

D236B70F-74C6-4EF8-B476-9C9FE0031C70.jpeg


Just for you, Minnie!
 

Nunu

Wanderluster
Premium Member
Since lunch had left something to be desired, Woody and I decided to hop over to Epcot and check out the Food & Wine Festival, which had also opened yesterday.

Weather was okay in front of the Chinese Theater.....

View attachment 422058

....but by the time we exited the park things looked a bit more ominous.

View attachment 422059
Gotta love that Florida sky rain line! But....

We got on the Friendship boat.

There was a lightning strike.

We had to get off the Friendship boat. It was now “out of service.”

Plan B then! B for bus, of course. And B for Beach Club, since we wanted to enter Epcot via the International Gateway. We made it to the bus depot just as the rain began. Only today we were prepared with umbrellas, unlike my last DHS visit with Em. ⛈

It rained all the way to Beach Club but was down to a sprinkle when we disembarked the bus. As we entered the lobby, someone surprised me!

View attachment 422060

She insisted I hand the camera to Woody so he could take a picture of both of us.

View attachment 422061

Just for you, Minnie!
That's a cute picture of you and Minnie wearing coordinating dresses. 😊
 

MinnieM123

Premium Member
Woody and I were ready for air conditioning.

And lunch.

OMG look what was FINALLY open!!!

View attachment 421998

View attachment 421999

Had I known this in advance, I might have cancelled our ADR (and, in hindsight, should have!) However I’m not sure I could have eaten at PizzeRizzo guilt-free without Em.

So instead we wandered in here ~

View attachment 422000

View attachment 422002

After I posted the above picture, I noticed that all the framed head shots on the wall are crooked.
“Well that’s dumb!” I mused.
I looked again and noticed the cracked plaster with now-exposed brick peeking through. (You can also see this in the photo below.)
And then it hit me.
It’s damage from the Muppet Theater explosion, you idiot!!!!
I’ve been eating in Mama Melrose’s for 25 years and never made the connection.
Until now. :facepalm:


View attachment 422001

The restaurant was mostly empty and we were seated right away.

View attachment 422004

It frustrates me that we never get seated in a booth at Mama’s, even when plenty are available. Today was the today I should have spoken up and requested a change, since we might have been spared the Annoying Server from Hell (henceforth known as ASH).

Right away he wanted to get chummy with us.
“I’m ASH!” he exclaimed. “And you are?” He extended his hand to Woody.
“Um, Woody.”
“Hiya Woody!” Then he looked at me. “And what’s your name?”
“Tuvalu.” I hope he doesn’t want to shake my hand. Oh carp, there it is.

He then launched into a big spiel about how we MUST visit Star Wars Land! It’s amazing! The best thing Disney’s ever done! He didn’t even pause to give us the chance to say, WE JUST CAME FROM THERE!!

Then, before we could order our drinks (we were dying of thirst) ASH began to tell us ALL ABOUT MAMA MELROSE’S, as if we were newbies and hadn’t already eaten there dozens of times.

All I want is a glass of water, I remember thinking. Please stop talking and bring us water.

What can I get for you, Woody?” ASH asked.

Before Woody could answer I interrupted with, “We both need water first. And we aren’t in a hurry and need to cool off. We would like to take our time with lunch.”

ASH was insistent he take our order anyway. Without missing a beat he asked, “What would you like with your water, Tuvalu?”

That’s how our entire meal went ~ at the end of EVERY sentence, ASH called us by name. It got to the point that I murmured to Woody, If he calls me Tuvalu one more time.....

ASH brought our waters and rolls at the same time. Ordinarily I love Mama’s rolls. They are warm, soft and doughy, perfect for dipping in the peppered olive oil.

View attachment 422005

Mama’s rolls aren’t supposed to be dark brown. They aren’t supposed to be hard. Or crunchy.

(They would have been perfect for throwing at ASH, however.)

One bite and I was done. Not to worry though! I wouldn’t have had time to finish a roll anyway, since chipper ASH immediately appeared with our entrées.

So much for a relaxed lunch, I thought.

“Can I get you anything else, Woody? How about you, Tuvalu?”

How about a moment to actually TASTE our food?!! I wanted to scream.

It should come as no surprise that the food from our last table service meal of the trip was “meh.” Since I’d just had steak the night before, I opted for Chicken Parmesan instead of Mama’s signature charred strip steak. Big mistake.

View attachment 422006

I barely ate half. ASH was stunned I did not want a to-go box. “It’s one of our most popular items!”

Woody did a better job finishing his Four Cheese Pasta with Chicken and did not have to suffer the wrath of ASH.

View attachment 422007

Thankfully ASH did not make a fuss when we declined dessert.

“Come back and see me, Woody and Tuvalu, next time you’re here at Disney’s Hollywood Studios!”

For you ASH, there’ll be no next time.

Oh, sorry to hear that your server was an . . . ASH. ;)
 

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