The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR

You really do sound like my DD. I've heard that Oh Men! out of her mouth so many times. In my heart I wonder if she will ever have the tolerance to be married. She is very analytical and has a low tolerance for all that...I could see her having a kid, adopting a kid and just doing the Mom thing without all that comes with the conventional way.
 
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donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Heavy flurries stopped about noon today. Didn't leave the office at noon. Left about 4:40. Even though the temp never got above 28, there's nothin' left of the stuff from the sky except a few remnants, and the roads were mostly dry and clear on the way home. The ground is still too warm, thankfully.
Predicted low of 15 for us tonight. Now, that's just gettin' crazy...for us, anyway...!!! :coldfeet: :cold:
 

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
You really do sound like my DD. I've heard that Oh Men! out of her mouth so many times. In my heart I wonder if she will ever have the tolerance to be married. She is very analytical and has a low tolerance for all that...I could see her having a kid, adopting a kid and just doing the Mom thing without all that comes with the conventional way.
Sounds about right. I also have basically decided that I want to keep my last name if I get married and would like to pass it on to my children. Of course, that is partially because I have a very unique, but lovely, last name. It's short, simple, easily pronounced, but I've never met anyone outside of my family with it. AND there's no one else who will likely pass it along. My dad's brother has no children and and most likely will not at this point, my dad's other brother has a little girl, and I can't see him and his wife having any more either. And there is a 99.9% chance my brother will be childless. So if I have children, I'd really like to pass on my last name. Especially if I marry someone with the last name of Jones or Smith or someone with an absurdly long last name. But I'm also open to the idea of a hyphen.

I also refuse to wear a white wedding dress, carry flowers down the aisle, be given away, or wear an engagement ring unless he also does. We could go with red. Red is what they wear in China. And I'm sorry, but I think the amount spent on rings is absurd, and even if he's paying, I'm not about to let him. If it's an heirloom, fine, but if we could buy a car with it, forget it.

I am seriously not a traditional sort of gal. It will be amazing if any man will have me. Of course, I'm also cheap on rings, so there's that.:hilarious:
 

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
Sounds about right. I also have basically decided that I want to keep my last name if I get married and would like to pass it on to my children. Of course, that is partially because I have a very unique, but lovely, last name. It's short, simple, easily pronounced, but I've never met anyone outside of my family with it. AND there's no one else who will likely pass it along. My dad's brother has no children and and most likely will not at this point, my dad's other brother has a little girl, and I can't see him and his wife having any more either. And there is a 99.9% chance my brother will be childless. So if I have children, I'd really like to pass on my last name. Especially if I marry someone with the last name of Jones or Smith or someone with an absurdly long last name. But I'm also open to the idea of a hyphen.

I also refuse to wear a white wedding dress, carry flowers down the aisle, be given away, or wear an engagement ring unless he also does. We could go with red. Red is what they wear in China. And I'm sorry, but I think the amount spent on rings is absurd, and even if he's paying, I'm not about to let him. If it's an heirloom, fine, but if we could buy a car with it, forget it.

I am seriously not a traditional sort of gal. It will be amazing if any man will have me. Of course, I'm also cheap on rings, so there's that.:hilarious:


Speaking of buying cars... any decisions on yours?
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Never saw the Yoplait ads. Haven't bought Chobani in years--ever since they tried to cover up a contamination at one of their plants. It's since been cleaned up, of course, but I couldn't get it out of my mind after that. Plenty of other brands to buy, so I went with others.

This one. They have made others prior that have the same ick...

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/wOnp/yoplait-back-seat
 

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
@Songbird76 I'm going to give you a little background into my family because I think maybe it will give you some insight into yours...

When I was little, I was such a daddy's girl. My mom always tells the story about how we were staying at Coronado Springs, and she was checking in, and my dad took me into the gift shop, and in the ten minutes that it took her to check in, he and I came walking out, and I had a little 101 Dalmations purse in my hand. And my mom was like "Really? She's got you wrapped around her finger.":joyfull: And we were like that for the longest time. After my brother was born, as I got older, we used to go off and do things just the two of us. We'd go in the parks late at night and ride all the big stuff, he'd take me to Orioles games without my mom and brother, you name it, we did it.

And then came the autism diagnosis with my brother.

I was 11 when he was diagnosed, and at first, nothing really changed. But then, the pressure to keep my grades up started coming on a lot harder, and it came on stronger and stronger in high school. Then came the pressure to be a lawyer, like him, and for a while, I was all for it, until I wasn't. I decided I was too emotional for a legal career, and the business side of it would bore me to tears. He was not happy about it. I later found out from my mom that his expectation was that I would join his firm. That was never happening, even if I did become a lawyer. Then, when I was applying for colleges, he wanted me to go to his alma mater. Well, his alma mater was not like it was 35 years ago. It was huge, basically a school where anyone could go, and I was not impressed. It was my safety school, and I told him that. I ended up picking a small, private school that he was not a fan of, but in the end, it was a perfect choice for me and I got an excellent education there, and I got a business degree, which made him happy, and me because it was a good choice. Then came more pressure for law school, and I was more firm that it wasn't happening.

But then I realized that I somehow stopped being daddy's girl and had become the son who was carrying on the family responsibility. And I thought, "When did this happen?"

And that's when it hit me: all of this started after the autism diagnosis. When he got a son, he had expectations for him. That he would be like him, that he would go to college, maybe to law school, carry on the family name. When my brother got the autism diagnosis, all of those hopes went out the window. Whether he realized it or not, he had lost his expectations for his son, and in doing so, he switched over those expectations to me. Which is a tricky position to be in. You're still the daughter who he feels like he has to protect, but you're suddenly the son carrying on the family responsibilities. I love my father and value his wisdom and advice. And I think because I'm not a daddy's girl, my mom and I are unusually close, which I wouldn't trade, but part of me misses being a daddy's girl.

Anyway, I thought this might give you some insight into what may be going on in your DH's mind, whether he realizes it or not. I know my dad doesn't realize it consciously. He might be reacting more to this recent diagnosis than you realize though.
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Sounds about right. I also have basically decided that I want to keep my last name if I get married and would like to pass it on to my children. Of course, that is partially because I have a very unique, but lovely, last name. It's short, simple, easily pronounced, but I've never met anyone outside of my family with it. AND there's no one else who will likely pass it along. My dad's brother has no children and and most likely will not at this point, my dad's other brother has a little girl, and I can't see him and his wife having any more either. And there is a 99.9% chance my brother will be childless. So if I have children, I'd really like to pass on my last name. Especially if I marry someone with the last name of Jones or Smith or someone with an absurdly long last name. But I'm also open to the idea of a hyphen.

I also refuse to wear a white wedding dress, carry flowers down the aisle, be given away, or wear an engagement ring unless he also does. We could go with red. Red is what they wear in China. And I'm sorry, but I think the amount spent on rings is absurd, and even if he's paying, I'm not about to let him. If it's an heirloom, fine, but if we could buy a car with it, forget it.

I am seriously not a traditional sort of gal. It will be amazing if any man will have me. Of course, I'm also cheap on rings, so there's that.:hilarious:

I did change my name. I had a great name and the new one was equally great. It was a weird sticking point with him like I was from Mars not wanting to change it. It took a long long time for me to acclimate to the new name not being beyond foreign to me. A do over and I would have said nope. Me the odd thing that bugged me was letters and invitations, business correspondence etc that was addressed:
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe That I fixed with family and friends, I wasn't about to loose both my first and last name.

Years. Like I said before half way through the wedding planning I wish we had just eloped to Vegas. Weddings are expensive and in my case too much outside drama from parents to bridesmaids and then that MIL. :cautious: My Mom and I went round and round about white, white it was, she won. She lost the battle with a veil over my face to be uncovered at an alter. Nope nope nope. I have two rings. One worth last checked about $10,000 and the other about $30,000 which is two carats. That one has spent most of its life in a safety deposit box. Going to the docks with a ring of value would be stupid. It came out for special events and less and less over the years cause I'd have to go get it and then bring it back. I have a pretty band and that was my staple for 30+ years. His lived always from day 15 in his dresser drawer.
 

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
Speaking of buying cars... any decisions on yours?
Well, I really like the Hyundai Sonata, and the best deals are on that one right now. Plus, the warranty is 5 years/60,000 limited and 10 years/100,000 and the dealer guarantees the engine for life. You pretty much can't beat that. And the upper trims, which are what I'm looking at, have all the bells and whistles standard that I was looking for; sunroof, Android Auto, powered seats, interior leather, keyless entry, heated seats...the highest trim has a heated steering wheel too, which given how cold it's been sounds very pleasant. I was leaning towards the trim down, but now that I think about it, I can afford the higher trim, and given what I've been driving, I'd probably be happier with it. I can also save $400 as a recent grad. A coworker of my father's also said they've put 215,000 miles on theirs and have had minimal issues with it. My uncle and grandfather have also owned multiple Hyundais and recommend them

I drove my dad's car on Sunday. It was a fun drive, but I basically turned him down on his offer. I just think he's too attached to that car, and he would never view it as my car, even it I paid him for it. He insists he would, but I just don't believe him. Plus, there's only a year left on the warranty, and I just don't trust these GM cars. It seems like they always have issues. The Enclave is in great shape, and who knows, the Lacrosse could stay in great shape. But then again, it might not. Plus, as I've been driving cars, I've realized I really REALLY want a car with a sunroof. His Lacrosse has no sunroof. I think my seasonal affective disorder wants the sunroof.

My dad is a fan of me getting a Camry actually if I don't get a Buick, so we shall see. I'm test driving two Buicks on Friday. One is an SUV that I'm driving basically to make him happy (noticing a common theme here...) and the other is the Regal, a sedan. But I will probably have to lease it instead of purchasing it. And I'm not really a fan of that. Or that price; I think it's absurd.

Probably will sleep on it since this Saturday is my last free Saturday before WDW, test drive my favorites again after vacation, and then make a decision next month with all of those deals.
 

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
I did change my name. I had a great name and the new one was equally great. It was a weird sticking point with him like I was from Mars not wanting to change it. It took a long long time for me to acclimate to the new name not being beyond foreign to me. A do over and I would have said nope. Me the odd thing that bugged me was letters and invitations, business correspondence etc that was addressed:
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe That I fixed with family and friends, I wasn't about to loose both my first and last name.

Years. Like I said before half way through the wedding planning I wish we had just eloped to Vegas. Weddings are expensive and in my case too much outside drama from parents to bridesmaids and then that MIL. :cautious: My Mom and I went round and round about white, white it was, she won. She lost the battle with a veil over my face to be uncovered at an alter. Nope nope nope. I have two rings. One worth last checked about $10,000 and the other about $30,000 which is two carats. That one has spent most of its life in a safety deposit box. Going to the docks with a ring of value would be stupid. It came out for special events and less and less over the years cause I'd have to go get it and then bring it back. I have a pretty band and that was my staple for 30+ years. His lived always from day 15 in his dresser drawer.
Oh, a veil, another thing I forgot I will not be doing. My thought on marriage is that we will be entering a partnership. I will not be owned by him. My father is not giving me to him, he will not lift the veil to reveal his prize, and before the wedding, I will not be his property and will not wear a ring to show that unless he also wants to wear one.

I probably will have to do some sort of ceremony even though I would love to elope because my mother would never forgive me...I honestly only have a few close female friends, so I would probably just have a maid of honor or two and that would be it, then he could have a best man. Small wedding on the Chesapeake with close family and friends sounds about right to me without getting super pricey.
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Yes I would. Since that is the case..... Now would be the good time....before its gone.

Me, zero interest in my entire lifetime. Like Avatar I will likely see some of it before they finally grand open the attraction so I have some level of understanding. I love Flight of Passage despite how long it takes even with a FP+ That said I only can make it through a portion of Avatar before I must shut it down It for my love of film just drags on. Never made it through Avatar. So not my type of film. Star Wars, Star Trek so much the same for me.
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Are you kidding? People have been to the parks so many times themselves, and yet, when they aren't there, they park themselves in front of the computer and read endless trip reports....I think you'll be fine.

That is soooo cute! Does she have a particular expression when she's upset with you or angry? My daughter would go stand against a wall with her arms folded and not talk to you and she could do this for like an HOUR...I thought toddlers were supposed to have short attention spans.
This was my DD at 4, when she was the flower girl in my brother's wedding. (Sorry it's blurry) She was unhappy that she had to get her hair done, and she was unhappy that her dress was white and not pink. A few hours later, after about 50 people told her she looked like a princess, she decided she liked it and didn't want to take anything off.

View attachment 256790
A few hours later:
View attachment 256791
And this was when she was 2 and we had professional family photos made, and she was tired of the photographer telling her what to do:
View attachment 256792


70s are great, though I don't know that I'd be donning a swimsuit on a beach....low 80s I can handle, but upper 80s, if it's humid, I can't do it. I get nauseated, get a headache...it's miserable. I don't know how I handle Disney, except that we are inside so much that I don't have time to get the yucks. On our last trip though, I had to go to Disney Springs to pick up the gift card that came with our package and by the end of that trip, I was pretty miserable. DH had taken the kids back to the resort to swim, and I was by myself and my body just doesn't handle heat well.

Your DD is priceless. I didn't like being dressed like a princess as a little girl. I was a genuine tomboy so making me wear crud like that I wanted to die. I had a career most of my life that I wore jeans or in cold weather Carhartt wear. Yeah I still look pretty here and there but put me in jean shorts and a cute tank and I am a happy lady.

I can't do cold. I'm living it but it is painful to my body and previous injuries. Given the choice I'll take living in the heat and humidity. I can't take high humidity but I can hide from that easier than the bitter cold. In winter here I am not comfy day or night. In a warmer climate most days I can avoid the daytime given I am nocturnal and pop out at night. I should not have been born to a chilly/cold climate 3/4 of the year. I have Irish blood, one would think genetics would kick in.

And guys are different over all. Not all guys but given we are a swim team family guys are different. I am smaller but I am conservative in what I wear for swimwear. I have been that way since my son was born and I was 98 pounds. Given all the swim parties we had over 18 years of all that...what the women would be seen in vs the guys we gals took a look in the mirror more than the men we came with. The guys seem to be more comfortable with their bodies of now vs yesteryear.

My DD was the least comfy with her Dad not having a shirt on (though nor was I) So many of these guys had bodies similar to me at 8 months pregnant yet walking the deck without a shirt on in just their trunks. Most guys OK with themselves as they outwardly displayed themselves. Yeah I judged them but I also admired them if you can understand that? The if I don't care what my body evolved into as age set in why should you attitude. It is genuinely healthier on the mind. I am still very small given my age still I am overly conservative in pool wear as I am in my daily attire. Always was. Raised Irish Catholic School so no doubts there. Swimsuits from what I see from all I know of people of child bearing age is an article of clothing that most woman put far more thought into over the guys thought process of how they look in pool wear. I still believe it is because we are wired so differently.

I first noted this wiring difference after my son was born and developed into his own person. I only had a sister. I had zero baseline for understanding men of my own age let alone their attire, modesty or more lack there of. As I watched my son grow I yielded more to his Dads thoughts. Seemed to work. I failed to understand that guy wiring. They likely don't understand ours either.
 
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Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
That is too cute with your daughter!! When my daughter is mad at someone, she mainly just looks at them like they're an idiot. like this:

rt3jdoxyo3oz.jpg


Yep. Idiot is a go to word with me and my kids.
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Thankfully Mrs F is as nuts as i am. That said we are seriously considering putting off WDW until around 2022 and doing a dcl Europe trip in 2019.

I get that. As I read today that Disney is trialing no cash at WDW at Animal Kingdom Lodge I had that oh stop it now moment. My comfort level with 'tap' for everything isn't there. I cash, I credit and debit card different things at different times. I swing given the circumstances at home and on vacation. My comfort level of being forced to credit or debit an not pay cash for very small items beyond a TIP annoys me. I raised my kids Disney. I'd send them off with $5 to go grab a cup cake. The idea of turning over a credit card to a 10 year old for a $5 item is frustrating given they do not have the wherewithal to watch and understand the sensitivity of what any given person is doing with that card. I had that STOP IT moment with Disney today as they announced this. I know the advantage they are looking for with the Magic Band 'tap for whatever you want' mentality until you get your credit card bill when you are back home....still I've never lived that way, ever. I know some people live the life of advances on their salaries, push their credit cards to the limit but there are many that do not live that life. Not excepting United States Currency in the United States, well disconcerting to me anyhow.
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Harrowing drive into the office today. Even the large highways are completely slushy. Two accidents happened in front of me and I had to go off roading to get around them. The side streets are absolutely terrible, too.

I'm ready for Elsa to bring back summer, now....

Snow should have stopped by mid Monday. It did not. It waited until well into Tuesday. Big oops weather people. That dang lake effect swirling snow.
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
I hope if turns on for you and your morning recovers!!



My husband could be happy never going again. So the next trip we take is going to be a mommy daughter trip. It sounds to me, with your husband the way he is right now and your son the way he is, that you might want to consider a mommy daughter trip! DH and son can do a father son trip wherever they want, and you guys could go enjoy everything you love about Disney.

That could work!
 

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