Thank you very much! Here's the script.
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Pinocchio: A Fanciful Musical
PROLOGUE
(House lights dim. In the darkness, we hear chimes tinkle in the distance, as if sending magic before us. The chimes swell into a full orchestrated overture, leading into a VOICE singing in the dark…)
VOICE.
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR
MAKES NO DIFFERENCE WHO YOU ARE
ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES
WILL COME TO YOU.
IF YOUR HEART IS IN YOUR DREAM
NO REQUEST IS TOO EXTREME
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR
AS DREAMERS DO.
FATE IS KIND,
SHE BRINGS TO THOSE WHO LOVE
THE SWEET FULFILLMENT OF
THEIR SECRET LONGING.
(A spotlight picks up the voice’s origin—JIMINY CRICKET, our narrator. He is dressed smartly in a top hat and tuxedo, and carries an umbrella in his hand.)
JIMINY (cont’d).
LIKE A BOLT OUT OF THE BLUE
FATE STEPS IN AND SEES YOU THROUGH
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR
YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.
Pretty, huh? I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that. About a wish coming true, do you? Well, I didn't, either. Of course, I'm just a cricket singing my way from hearth to hearth, but let me tell you what made me change my mind.
(The curtain opens on…
SCENE 1: GEPPETTO’S WORKSHOP
A large set piece made to look like an old homestead, filled to the brim with clocks, toys and other wooden works of art sits center stage, behind a large projection screen, depicting an Italian town at night. Prominently displayed on a bench is an unfinished marionette, made to look like a little boy.)
One night a long time ago, my travels took me to a quaint little village. It was a beautiful night. The stars were shining like diamonds high above the roofs of that sleepy old town. Pretty as a picture. As I wandered along the crooked streets, there wasn't a soul to be seen. The only sign of life was a lighted window in the shop of a woodcarver named Geppetto. So, I hopped over, and looked in. It was a shame to see a nice, cheerful fire goin' to waste. So what do I do? I go in.
(JIMINY enters the homestead, and crouches carefully behind a bench.) I looked around. Of course, being in a strange place like that, I didn't know what to expect. A cricket can't be too careful, you know. Soon as I saw there was no one about, I made myself at home.
(JIMINY tiptoes over towards a stove, making heat.) As I stood there warming my
(he notices that his rear end is closest to the stove. He stops, choosing his words carefully) ... myself, I took a look around. Well, sir, you never saw such a place... the most fantastic clocks you ever laid your eyes on, and all carved out of wood. And cute, little music boxes... each one a work of art. And shelf after shelf of toys and...and then something else caught my eye...a puppet. You know... one of those marionette things. All strings and joints. Cute little fella.
(GEPPETTO himself enters with new paints, and sets to work completing the marionette.)
GEPPETTO. Oh, it won’t take too much longer. Just a little more paint, and you’ll be all finished. I think you’ll be quite alright…
(he paints a smile on the marionette.) A warm, welcoming smile. That makes a big difference. Very good. Now, I have just the name for you…Pinocchio! Do you like it?
(He moves the strings; the puppet’s head nods ‘yes’.) That settles it! Pinocchio, it is! Come on, now! We'll try you out. Music, Professor!
(GEPPETTO winds up one of his music boxes; and prances the marionette around, singing as he goes.)
LITTLE WOODEN HEAD, GO PLAY YOUR PART.
BRING A LITTLE JOY TO EVERY HEART.
LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, AND YET IT’S TRUE,
THAT I’M MIGHTY PROUD OF YOU.
LITTLE WOODEN FEET, AND BEST OF ALL,
LITTLE WOODEN SEAT, IN CASE YOU FALL
(GEPPETTO deliberately trips the puppet, causing it to fall on its rear.)
Oh, how graceful!
MY LITTLE WOODEN HEAD.
HAPPY LITTLE CHAP WITH A FEATHER IN YOUR CAP,
THOUGH I MADE YOU OF WOOD, YOU NEVER GIVE A RAP.
ALWAYS DOING GOOD, LIKE A LITTLE PUPPET SHOULD,
CHASING EACH GLOOMY DAY AWAY…
LITTLE WOODEN HEAD WITH EYES THAT SHINE
LITTLE WOODEN HEAD THAT’S MADE OF PINE.
IN A WEARY WORLD, YOU DO YOUR SHARE
SPREADING LAUGHTER EVERYWHERE.
LITTLE WOODEN FEET, AND BEST OF ALL,
LITTLE WOODEN SEAT, IN CASE YOU FALL,
NEVER LET A SINGLE TEAR BE SHED,
MY LITTLE WOODEN HEAD.
NEVER LET A SINGLE TEAR BE SHED,
MY LITTLE WOODEN...
(All of a sudden, every clock in the workshop chimes in a massive cacophony.)
Oh goodness, I had no idea it was that late! Come now—we go to bed.
(He places the marionette back onto the workbench.) Good night, Pinocchio, my little funny face.
(As he settles into bed, he notices something outside the window.) Oh, look! A wishing star! Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I make tonight. Figaro, you know what I wished for? I wished that my little Pinocchio might be a real boy! Wouldn't that be nice? Just think - a real boy.
JIMINY. (himself settling in nearby the stove; to us) Do you hear that? A real boy. A very lovely thought—but not at all practical.
(JIMINY and GEPPETTO both doze off. Suddenly, the room illuminates as a brightly-glowing, dazzling star in the sky moves toward the woodcarver's window, filling it with a white glow. JIMINY is startled awake.)
Hey, what’s goin’ on?
(The light fades to reveal a beautiful, golden-haired, glamorous fairy with wings and a wand, and wearing a sparkling whitish-blue dress.)
Well! As I live and breathe…a fairy!
(The FAIRY turns to the sleeping GEPPETTO.)
FAIRY. Good Geppetto, you have given so much happiness to others. You deserve to have your wish come true.
(She moves over to the workbench, where the marionette sits, and taps it with her wand.)
Little puppet made of pine...wake. The gift of life is thine.
(A great burst of light fills the stage. When it clears, the marionette has been replaced by PINOCCHIO, portrayed here as an actual puppet, in the same vein as Olaf in DCA’s Frozen show or Timon in the Broadway adaptation of The Lion King.)
JIMINY. What they can’t do these days…
(After a moment, PINOCCHIO blinks, then turns his head around and moves its arms in astonishment.)
PINOCCHIO. I can move!
(He places his hands over his mouth.) I can talk!
(Shakily, he gets himself onto his feet and walks around.) I can walk!
FAIRY. Yes, Pinocchio. I've given you life.
PINOCCHIO. Why?
FAIRY. Because tonight, Geppetto wished for a real boy.
PINOCCHIO. Am I a real boy?
FAIRY. No, Pinocchio. To make Geppetto's wish come true will be entirely up to you.
PINOCCHIO. Up to me?
FAIRY. Prove yourself brave, truthful and unselfish, and someday you will be a real boy.
JIMINY. That won’t be easy.
FAIRY. You must learn to choose between right and wrong.
PINOCCHIO. (looking at his two hands as alternatives, puzzling) Right - and wrong? But how will I know?
FAIRY. Your conscience will tell you.
PINOCCHIO. (naively) What are conscience?
JIMINY. I’ll tell you.
(hopping over to PINOCCHIO’s side) A conscience is that still, small voice that people won't listen to. That's just the trouble with the world today.
PINOCCHIO. Are you my conscience?
JIMINY. Who, me?
FAIRY. Would you like to be Pinocchio’s conscience?
JIMINY. Well…all right.
FAIRY. Very well. What is your name?
JIMINY. Cricket’s the name. Jiminy Cricket.
FAIRY. Kneel, Mr. Cricket.
JIMINY. Huh? No tricks, now.
(He kneels. The FAIRY uses her wand as if to knight him.)
FAIRY. I dub you Pinocchio's conscience, Lord High Keeper of the knowledge of right and wrong, counsellor in moments of temptation, and guide along the straight and narrow path. Arise, Sir Jiminy Cricket.
JIMINY. (Excited about his title) Well! My, my! Say, that's pretty swell! Gee, thanks. But don't I get a badge or somethin'?
FAIRY. Well, we'll see.
JIMINY. You mean maybe I will?
FAIRY. I shouldn't wonder.
JIMINY. Make it a gold one?
FAIRY. Maybe. Now, remember, Pinocchio, be a good boy. And always let your conscience be your guide.
(The FAIRY disappears in another burst of light. From outside the window, we see the star from whence she came sparkle.)
JIMINY. All right-y, Pinoke. Maybe you and I had better have a little heart-to-heart talk.
PINOCCHIO. Why?
JIMINY. Well, you wanna be a real boy, don't you?
(PINOCCHIO nods his head.) Sit down, son.
(He drops down on the bench.) Now, you see, the world is full of temptations.
PINOCCHIO. Temptations?
JIMINY. Yep, temptations. They're the wrong things that seem right at the time, but, uh.... even though the right things may seem wrong, sometimes, or sometimes, the wrong things may be right at the wrong time, or vice-versa. Understand?
PINOCCHIO. (shaking his head) Uh-uh.
(JIMINY facepalms.) But I'm gonna do right.
JIMINY. Attaboy, Pinoke! And I'm gonna help ya. Now if you need me at anytime, just whistle. Like this.
(He whistles.)
PINOCCHIO. Like this?
(He tries to whistle, but all he does is just blow air.)
JIMINY. Here, let me help. Just pucker your lips…and gently blow.
(He whistles.)
PINOCCHIO. Like this?
(He once again attempts to whistle…and results in a loud, shrill sound! This sudden noise wakes GEPPETTO. In the dark, he addresses the noise.)
GEPPETTO. Ah! What’s happening? Who’s here?
PINOCCHIO. It’s me!
GEPPETTO. It’s you, eh? How did you get here?
PINOCCHIO. I whistled.
GEPPETTO. Oh, you did, hmm?
(During the above, GEPPETTO has been searching for a lantern. He picks it up and finds himself face-to-face with a living PINOCCHIO.)
Oh! You are talking!
PINOCCHIO. Uh-huh.
GEPPETTO. No!
PINOCCHIO. Yes! And I can move, too!
GEPPETTO. No, no, no! You can't! I'm dreaming in my sleep! Wake me up! Wake me up!
(He picks up a mug of water and splashes it in his face.) Now we see who's dreaming. Go on... say something.
PINOCCHIO. (giggling) Gee, you're funny. Do it again!
GEPPETTO. You
do talk!
PINOCCHIO. Yes! The blue fairy came...
GEPPETTO. The blue fairy?
PINOCCHIO. And I got a conscience!
GEPPETTO. A conscience?
PINOCCHIO. And someday, I'm gonna be a real boy!
GEPPETTO. A real boy! It's my wish! It's come true! Oh, well, I think we’ve had too much excitement for one night. Come, Pinocchio, let’s go to sleep.
PINOCCHIO. Why?
GEPPETTO. Oh, everybody has to sleep, and besides, tomorrow you've got to go to school.
PINOCCHIO. Why?
GEPPETTO. Oh, to learn things and...and get smart.
PINOCCHIO. Why?
GEPPETTO. …Because.
PINOCCHIO. Oh.
(Lights fade on the workshop. A scrim, much as in the old days of Beauty and the Beast: Live on Stage, flies in, depicting the streets of the village. It is morning. Church bells sound in the distance.)
SCENE 2: THE STREETS
(PINOCCHIO runs out, eager to go to school. GEPPETTO follows behind.)
GEPPETTO. Wait a minute, Pinocchio! Stay still! I forgot to give you something. Here, here is your book, and an apple to give your teacher. Very good, now run along.
PINOCCHIO. Goodbye, Father!
GEPPETTO. Goodbye, son! Hurry back!
(GEPPETTO leaves. PINOCCHIO skips off towards school. As he leaves, two shady characters enter: one—a fox, “HONEST” JOHN, and the other—his accomplice, GIDEON.)
HONEST JOHN. Gideon, listen... the merry laughter of little, innocent children wending their way to school. Thirsty little minds rushing to the fountain of knowledge. School... a noble institution. What would this stupid world be without...
(His poetic waxings are interrupted by him noticing a poster for STROMBOLI’s puppet show.) Well, well, well! So that old rascal's back in town, eh? Remember, Giddy, the time I tied strings on you and passed you off as a puppet? We nearly put one over on that old gypsy that time.
(PINOCCHIO skips past. GIDEON tugs on HONEST JOHN’s shoulder to alert him of the stringless puppet parading past.)
What is it, Gideon? Gasp! A wooden boy! It's amazing! A live puppet without strings. A thing like that ought to be worth a fortune to someone. That's it... Stromboli! If we play our cards right, we'll be on Easy Street, or my name isn't Honest John!
(He deliberately places himself so PINOCCHIO will bump into him.) I’m terrible sorry, young lad. I do hope you’re not injured. Why, look, Gideon—he’s a scholar!
PINOCCHIO. Yes, sir. I’m going to school!
HONEST JOHN. School? Well, then, my dear boy, you haven't heard of the easy road to success.
PINOCCHIO. What’s that?
HONEST JOHN. The theatre! Bright lights! Music! Applause! Fame! And with that personality, that profile, that physique, why, he's a natural-born actor, eh, Giddy? Why, I can see your name in lights...lights six feet high... What is your name?
PINOCCHIO. Pinocchio.
HONEST JOHN. Pinocchio! P-i-n......u-o...P-i...We're wasting precious time. Come. On to the theatre!
HI-DIDDLE-DEE-DEE
AN ACTOR’S LIFE FOR ME!
A HIGH SILK HAT AND A SILVER CANE
A WATCH OF GOLD WITH A DIAMOND CHAIN
HI-DIDDLE-DEE-DOO
YOU SLEEP TILL AFTER TWO
IT’S GREAT TO BE A CELEBRITY
AN ACTOR’S LIFE FOR ME!
(As they lead PINOCCHIO off, JIMINY runs on.)
JIMINY. Fine conscience I turned out to be. Late the first day! Oh, well. He can't get in much trouble between here and school.
(He hears singing in the distance, and sees the shadow of people marching past.) Oh, boy! A parade!
(It’s HONEST JOHN and GIDEON leading PINOCCHIO off to the theater.)
HONEST JOHN.
HI-DIDDLE-DEE-DUM,
AN ACTOR'S LIFE IS FUN!
WITH CLOTHES THAT COME FROM THE FINEST SHOP
AND LOTS OF PEANUTS AND SODA POP
HI-DIDDLE-DEE-DOO
YOU SLEEP TILL AFTER TWO.
IT'S GREAT TO BE A CELEBRITY
AN ACTOR'S LIFE FOR ME!
(As he sings, JIMINY dances along, only to stop short that PINOCCHIO is following them!)
JIMINY. It’s Pinoke! Hey! Wait up! Where are you going?!
(Noticing JIMINY, PINOCCHIO stops and eagerly waves to him.)
PINOCCHIO. Jiminy! Oh, Jiminy, guess what? I’m gonna be an actor!
JIMINY. Take it easy, now. Remember what I said about temptation?
(pointing to HONEST JOHN) Well, that’s him.
PINOCCHIO. Oh, no, Jiminy! That's Mr. Honest John.
JIMINY. Honest John?! Alright, then. Here's what we'll tell 'em...you can't go to the theatre. Say thank you just the same. You're sorry, but you've got to go to school.
(HONEST JOHN and GIDEON, who have just realized that PINOCCHIO is not with them, come back to get him.)
Here they come, Pinoke. Now, you tell 'em.
HONEST JOHN. There you are! Oh, where were we? Yes. On to the theatre!
(PINOCCHIO is once again lured away.)
PINOCCHIO. Goodbye, Jiminy! Goodbye!
JIMINY. Goodbye? Huh?! Wait!
HONEST JOHN & PINOCCHIO.
HI-DIDDLE-DEE-DEE
AN ACTOR’S LIFE FOR ME!
A HIGH SILK HAT AND A SILVER CANE
A WATCH OF GOLD AND A DIAMOND CHAIN
JIMINY. Oh, what'll I do? I'll run and tell his father. No. That would be snitchy. I'll go after him myself.
(JIMINY hurries off after them. The curtain closes.)
SCENE 3: STROMBOLI’S PUPPET SHOW
(An Italian showman, the “great” STROMBOLI, enters in front of the curtain and introduces his latest act.)
STROMBOLI. Ladies and gentlemen, to conclude the performance of this great show, Stromboli the Master Showman...that's me...and by special permission of the management...that's me, too...is presenting to you something you will absolutely refuse to believe.
(JIMINY enters through the audience.)
JIMINY. Well, looks like a sellout.
(He finds a spot to watch somewhere in the audience.)
STROMBOLI. Introducing...the only marionette who can sing and dance absolutely without the aids of strings! The one-and-only Pinocchio!
JIMINY. (to himself, or, if possible, to an audience member) Hmm, what a build-up.
(Trumpets blare from uniformed band puppets. STROMBOLI conducts an unseen band in front of the stage and the curtain opens, with a spotlight on the central character (PINOCCHIO) on stage, standing at the top of a short set of steps. He struts down the steps.)
PINOCCHIO.
I’VE GOT NO STRINGS TO HOLD ME DOWN
TO MAKE ME FRET OR MAKE ME FROWN
I HAD STRINGS, BUT NOW I’M FREE
THERE ARE NO STRINGS ON ME!
HI-HO, THE MERRY-O,
THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO BE.
I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW
NOTHING EVER WORRIES ME!
I’VE GOT NO STRINGS, SO I HAVE FUN
I’M NOT TIED UP TO ANYONE.
THEY HAVE STRINGS, BUT YOU CAN SEE
THERE ARE NO STRINGS ON ME!
(Dance break. PINOCCHIO dances with ease. JIMINY is not amused.)
JIMINY. (Shouting out to him from the audience) Go ahead, make a fool of yourself…then maybe you’ll listen to your conscience!
(The show continues. A scrim lowers, with a crudely-drawn Dutch scene. A DUTCH GIRL enters.)
DUTCH GIRL.
YOU HAVE NO STRINGS, YOUR ARMS IS FREE
TO LOVE ME BY THE ZUIDER-ZEE
YA YA YA, IF YOU WOULD WOO
I’D BUST MY STRINGS FOR YOU!
(A DUTCH ENSEMBLE comes out and dances. Then, a crudely-drawn French scene appears on another scrim. A FRENCH GIRL enters.)
FRENCH GIRL.
YOU HAVE NO STRINGS, COMME CI, COMME CA
YOUR SAVOIR FAIRE IS OO LA LA
I’VE GOT STRINGS, BUT ENTRE NOUS
I’D CUT MY STRINGS FOR YOU!
(Can-can. JIMINY, who has been watching disinterested, perks up when he sees how high those legs go. At the conclusion of the can-can, a crudely-drawn Russian scrim is lowered. A RUSSIAN GIRL enters.)
RUSSIAN GIRL.
DOWN WHERE THE VOLGA FLOWS
THERE’S A RUSSIAN RENDEZVOUS
WHERE ME AND IVAN GO
BUT I’D RATHER GO WITH YOU! HEY!
(Wild Cossack dance break. A bevy of RUSSIAN SOLDIER PUPPETS do the squat thing. PINOCCHIO tries to mimic them.)
PINOCCHIO.
THERE ARE NO STRINGS ON ME!
(Wild applause. STROMBOLI and PINOCCHIO take bows.)
JIMINY. Huh? They like him. He’s a success. Gosh! Maybe I was wrong. Well, guess he won’t need me anymore. What does an actor want with a conscience anyway?
(He exits through the back of the theater.)
PINOCCHIO. Gee whiz, they really like me!
STROMBOLI. Yes! You are sensational! You are colossal!
PINOCCHIO. Does that mean I’m an actor?
STROMBOLI. Sure! I will push you in the public’s eye your face, she will be on everybody’s tongue.
PINOCCHIO. Wow! I’ll run right home and tell my father.
STROMBOLI. (coughing) Home? Oh sure. Going home to your father. Oh, ha-ha-ha. Oh that is very “comeecal”. But, that is not an option. To me… you are belonging. We will tour the world. Paris, London, Monte Carlo, “Constantinopolee”…
PINOCCHIO. No, no!
STROMBOLI. Yes! We start tonight! Mmmm. You will make lots of money… for me! And when you are growing much too old you will make good firewood!
(STROMBOLI drags PINOCCHIO off.)
PINOCCHIO. No!
(Desperately, he whistles.) Jiminy! Jiminy, where are you? Help!
(JIMINY enters, hearing PINOCCHIO. He runs off after STROMBOLI.)
SCENE 4: STROMBOLI’S CARAVAN
(Inside a wooden caravan, PINOCCHIO sits locked in a cage. JIMINY enters.)
PINOCCHIO. Jiminy! Gee, I’m glad to see ya!
JIMINY. Pinocchio, what’s happened? What did he do to ya?
PINOCCHIO. Oh, he was mad. He said he was gonna push my face in everybody’s eye.
JIMINY. Yeah?
PINOCCHIO. And just ‘cause I’m a goldbrick he’s gonna chop me into firewood!
JIMINY. A fine conscience I turned out to be.
PINOCCHIO. (crying) I should've listened to you, Jiminy.
JIMINY. No, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have walked out on you.
PINOCCHIO. Guess I’ll never see my father again.
JIMINY. Oh, buck up, son. It could be worse. Be cheerful… like me! Aw, take it easy son. Come on, blow. Atta boy. Oh well, it stopped raining anyway. Hey, that star again! The lady! The Fairy!
(The light of the FAIRY’s star shines bright.)
PINOCCHIO. What’ll she say? What’ll I tell her?
JIMINY. You might tell her the truth.
(The FAIRY appears.)
FAIRY. Why, Pinocchio!
PINOCCHIO. Uh… hello!
FAIRY. Sir Jiminy!
JIMINY. Well! Excuse me. This is a pleasant surprise! Ha-ha!
FAIRY. Pinocchio, why didn't you go to school?
PINOCCHIO. School? Well, I...
JIMINY. Go ahead. Tell her.
PINOCCHIO. I was going to school till I met somebody.
FAIRY. Met somebody?
PINOCCHIO. Yeah, uh...two big monsters with big, green eyes!
(Suddenly, PINOCCHIO’s wooden nose begins to grow.)
Why, I... I...
FAIRY. Monsters? Weren't you afraid?
PINOCCHIO. No, ma'am, but they tied me in a big sack.
(His nose grows a little more and sprouts leaves.)
FAIRY. You don't say. And where was Sir Jiminy?
PINOCCHIO. Huh? Oh, Jiminy. Um... Uh...
JIMINY. Psst! Leave me out of this.
PINOCCHIO. They put him in a little sack.
(The nose grows even more.)
FAIRY. No!
PINOCCHIO. Yeah!
(His nose sprouts flowers!)
FAIRY. How did you escape?
PINOCCHIO. I didn't. They chopped me into firewood!
(His nose grows again, and a nest with baby birds sprouts at the end of it!)
Oh, look! My nose! What's happened?
FAIRY. Perhaps you haven't been telling the truth, Pinocchio.
JIMINY. Perhaps?
PINOCCHIO. Oh, but I have! Every single word!
(The branch his nose has grown into withers.)
Oh, please help me! I'm awful sorry!
FAIRY. You see, Pinocchio, a lie keeps growing and growing, until it's as plain as a nose on your face.
JIMINY. She's right, Pinoke. You better come clean.
PINOCCHIO. I'll never lie again! Honest, I won't!
JIMINY. Please, your honor...uh...I mean, Miss Fairy, give him another chance, for mother's sake. Will you? Huh?
FAIRY. I'll forgive you this once. But remember, Pinocchio. A boy who won't be good, might just as well be made of wood.
PINOCCHIO & JIMINY. (in unison) We'll be good, won't we?
FAIRY. Very well. But, this is the last time I can help you.
(The FAIRY touches the birdcage with her magic wand, and then disappears; PINOCCHIO's nose turns back to normal, and the birdcage door opens, as the padlock destroys while on the birdcage door.)
PINOCCHIO. Gee, look, Jiminy! My nose!
JIMINY. Hey! We're free! Come on, Pinoke!
(They sneak out of the caravan and arrive back on the streets.)
SCENE 5: BACK ON THE STREETS
JIMINY. Toodle-oo, Stromboli!
PINOCCHIO. Goodbye, Mr. Strombo...
JIMINY. Shhh! Quiet. Let's get out of here before something else happens.
(They rush home to the village.)
PINOCCHIO. Oh, Jiminy! Nothing can stop me now! I'll make good this time!
JIMINY. You'd better!
PINOCCHIO. I will. I'm going to school!
JIMINY. That's the stuff, Pinoke!
PINOCCHIO. I'd rather be smart than be an actor!
JIMINY. Now you're talkin'! C'mon, slowpoke! I'll race you home!
(They race back to GEPPETTO's workshop until HONEST JOHN grabs PINOCCHIO by the back of his overalls with his cane.)
HONEST JOHN. Well, well, Pinocchio! What's your rush?
PINOCCHIO. I gotta beat Jiminy home. Oh, hello.
HONEST JOHN. Well, how was the great actor?
PINOCCHIO. I don't wanna be an actor! Stromboli was terrible!
HONEST JOHN. He was?!
PINOCCHIO. Yeah! He locked me in a birdcage!
HONEST JOHN. He did?!
PINOCCHIO. Uh-huh, and I learned my lesson. I'm goin'...
HONEST JOHN. To Pleasure Island!
(He winks at GIDEON.)
PINOCCHIO. Pleasure Island?
HONEST JOHN. Yes! That happy land of carefree boys where everyday's a holiday! It’s a perfect way to cure your blues!
PINOCCHIO. But I can't go. I--
HONEST JOHN. Why, of course you can go! I'm giving you my ticket!
(He produces a playing card in his hand and gives it to PINOCCHIO) Here!
PINOCCHIO. Thanks, but I'm...
HONEST JOHN. Oh, tut, tut, tut! I insist! Come! The coach departs at midnight!
(He and GIDEON once again lead PINOCCHIO off.)
JIMINY. Pinoke! Oh, Pinoke! Now where do you suppose he- Huh!? Oh, no! Not those two again! Pinocchio! Hey! Come back here!
SCENE 6: THE COACH/PLEASURE ISLAND
(A coach, driven by a sinister-looking COACHMAN. A bunch of YOUNG BOYS, are chatting and laughing. JIMINY hides behind the coach. PINOCCHIO and one of the BOYS are striking up a conversation.)
JIMINY. Here we go again…
LAMPWICK. My name's Lampwick. What's yours?
PINOCCHIO. Pinocchio!
LAMPWICK. Have you ever been to Pleasure Island?
PINOCCHIO. Uh-uh.
LAMPWICK. Me, neither, but they say that it's a swell joint! No school, no cops. You can tear the joint apart. And nobody says a word. Goof around, plenty to eat, plenty to drink. And it's all free! Boy, that's the place. I can hardly wait!
(The coach stops. When it leaves the stage, the projection screens reveal Pleasure Island itself. It basically looks like a large amusement park. There are rides, games, food, the works.)
COACHMAN, BARKERS & CARNIES.
WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME TO PLEASURE ISLAND!
YOU CAN LIVE OUT YOUR DREAMS ON PLEASURE ISLAND!
SO MUCH TO DO, SO MUCH TO SEE ON PLEASURE ISLAND!
BUT NOTHING IS REALLY AS IT SEEMS ON PLEASURE ISLAND!
PLEASURE ISLAND!
LA DA DA DAA
DA DA DAA DA
LA DA DA DAA
COACHMAN.
WELCOME TO A WORLD YOU’VE ONLY SEEN IN DREAMS
ENGORGE YOURSELF ON CAKE AND PIE AND ICE CREAMS
STUFF YOURSELVES UNTIL YOU’RE SPENT
AND BEST OF ALL—IT WON’T COST A CENT!
COACHMAN, BARKERS & CARNIES.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO PLEASURE ISLAND!
WE'VE GOT FUN AND GAMES ON PLEASURE ISLAND!
THERE ARE NO RULES, NO SAYING NO ON PLEASURE ISLAND!
WHEN YOU LEAVE, YOU WON'T BE THE SAME ON PLEASURE ISLAND!
PLEASURE ISLAND!
LA DA DA DAA
DA DA DAA DA
LA DA DA DAA
BARKERS & CARNIES.
PICK FIGHTS, KNOCK OUT LIGHTS, FIGHT TILL YOU DROP
BREAK EVERYTHING—NO ONE’LL TELL YOU TO STOP
YOU WON’T HAVE TO WORRY BOUT MOM OR DAD
‘CAUSE THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE IT’S GOOD TO BE BAD!
(During an instrumental break, JIMINY approaches PINOCCHIO and LAMPWICK.)
JIMINY. There you are! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy? Look at yourself! Come on, we’re going home right this minute!
LAMPWICK. Say, who’s the beetle?
PINOCCHIO. He's my conscience. He tells me what's right from wrong.
LAMPWICK. What?! You mean to tell me you oughtta take orders from a grasshopper?
JIMINY. Grasshopper? Look here, you...you impudent young pup! It wouldn't hurt you to take orders from your grasshopper...um...uh...your conscience, if you have one.
PINOCCHIO. Oh, please don't shout at him, Jiminy. He's my best friend.
JIMINY. (Hurt) …Your best friend? And what am I? Just your conscience.
(angered) OK! That settles it!
PINOCCHIO. But, Jiminy...
JIMINY. You buttered your bread, now sleep in it! Go ahead! Make a jackass outta yourself! I'm through! This is the end!
(He storms off.)
LAMPWICK. Heh! To hear that beetle talk, you'd think something was going to happen to us.
(LAMPWICK suddenly sprouts donkey ears.) Conscience. Ah, phooey!
(strikes a ball and grows a donkey tail, as a shocked PINOCCHIO then throws away his cigar) Where does he get that stuff? "How do you ever expect to be a real boy?"
(His head turns into that of a donkey’s) What's he think I look like? A jackass?
PINOCCHIO. (laughing hysterically) Sure do!
(LAMPWICK feels his face, realizing he has a muzzle. And the, he feels his donkey ears from bottom to top.)
LAMPWICK. Oh, no! I've been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I've been framed!
COACHMAN. Oh, I see you’ve found our little secret. You see, once you step foot on Pleasure Island, you never come back…
as BOYS!!!
BEHOLD, BEHOLD, HOW THE MIGHTY DO FALL
LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU ALL:
YOUR FATE IS SEALED, YOU DON’T HAVE A SAY IN IT:
YOU’VE HAD YOUR FUN—
NOW PAY FOR IT!
WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME TO PLEASURE ISLAND!
YOU HAVE ALL BROUGHT ME WEALTH ON PLEASURE ISLAND!
NOW, GET IN THE CAGE, IT'S TIME TO LEAVE PLEASURE ISLAND!
YOU'VE MADE A DONKEY OF YOURSELF ON PLEASURE ISLAND
COACHMAN, BARKERS & CARNIES.
PLEASURE ISLAND!
PLEASURE ISLAND!
PLEASURE ISLAND!
PLEASURE ISLAND!
(The last note of the song turns into wicked laughter.)
COACHMAN. The pleasure’s all mine.
(Chaos. The BOYS/DONKEYS run about in fear. PINOCCHIO notices he too is sprouting ears and a tail.)
PINOCCHIO. What’s happening? What’s happening?!
(JIMINY runs on.)
JIMINY. Pinocchio! I saw everything! Come on, we gotta get you outta here before things get any worse!
(PINOCCHIO and JIMINY make a break for it.)
SCENE 7: THE STREETS, AGAIN
(JIMINY and PINOCCHIO run on.)
PINOCCHIO. Father, I’m home!
JIMINY. We’re home, Mr. Geppetto! Home again!
PINOCCHIO. Father? Father, it’s me!
JIMINY. (noticing something) Pinoke, come here Look! He ain’t here!
PINOCCHIO. He--- he’s gone. Maybe something awful happened to him.
JIMINY. Don’t worry son. He probably hasn’t gone far
(a magic dove gives them a letter)Hey! It’s a message!
PINOCCHIO. What’s it say?
JIMINY. It’s about your father.
PINOCCHIO. Where is he?
JIMINY. Why, uh, uh, it says here he, he went looking for you and was swallowed by a whale.
PINOCCHIO. Swallowed by a whale?
JIMINY. Yeah, uh-huh. A whale! A whale named Monstro! But wait! He’s alive!
PINOCCHIO. Alive! Where?
JIMINY. Inside the whale at the bottom of the sea.
PINOCCHIO. Bottom of the sea?
(With newfound determination, PINOCCHIO sets off to find him.)
JIMINY. Hey, where are ya goin'?
PINOCCHIO. I'm going to find him!
JIMINY. But, Pinoke, are you crazy? Don't you realize that he's inside a whale?
PINOCCHIO. I gotta go to him!
JIMINY. Hey, Pinoke! Wait! Listen here! I've heard of this Monstro; he's a whale of a whale! Why, he swallows whole ships alive!
PINOCCHIO. Good-bye, Jiminy.
JIMINY. Good-bye? I may be live bait down there, but I'm with ya!
(JIMINY and PINOCCHIO rush off. In the darkness, we hear the splash of something entering the water.)
SCENE 8: MONSTRO
(Inside Monstro’s massive belly, GEPPETTO’s raft sits center stage. GEPPETTO uses a makeshift fishing net to find anything to cook. PINOCCHIO and JIMINY leap aboard the raft.)
PINOCCHIO. Father!
GEPPETTO. Pinocchio? Oh, Pinocchio, my boy!
(They embrace.) I'm so happy to see you!
PINOCCHIO. Me, too, Father.
GEPPETTO. At last, we’re together again. Oh, you are soaking wet. You shouldn't have come down here.
PINOCCHIO. But, Father...
GEPPETTO. But I'm awfully glad to see you. Let me take your hat.
(PINOCCHIO’s hat is taken off to reveal the donkey ears.) Gasp! Those ears! What's happened to you?
PINOCCHIO. Well, I... I... I...
GEPPETTO. Oh, never mind now. Old Geppetto has his little wooden head back. Nothing else matters.
PINOCCHIO. Father, we’ve gotta get outta here!
GEPPETTO. Get out? Oh, no, no, son. I have tried every way. Why, I even built a raft.
PINOCCHIO. A raft? That's it! We'll take the raft. And when the whale opens his mouth...
GEPPETTO. No, no, no, no. Now listen, son. He only opens his mouth when he's eating. Then everything comes in; nothing goes out. It's hopeless, Pinocchio. Come, we'll make a nice fire and we cook some of the fish.
PINOCCHIO. A fire? That's it!
GEPPETTO. Yes, and then we'll all eat again.
PINOCCHIO. A great big fire; lots of smoke!
GEPPETTO. Smoke? Oh, yes, sure. Smoked fish will taste good.
PINOCCHIO. Quick, some wood!
(PINOCCHIO grabs some pieces of wood and a wooden chair and places the wood in GEPPETTO’s arms.)
GEPPETTO. Pinocchio, not the chair!
PINOCCHIO. Hurry, Father, more wood!
(PINOCCHIO smashes the chair over a wooden barrel while Geppetto adds the wood pieces.)
GEPPETTO. But what'll we sit on?
PINOCCHIO. We won't need it. We're getting out!
He grabs a lit lantern and smashes it over the pile of wood, causing a fire to start. He then adds a blanket to create smoke then promptly starts blowing and fanning on the smoke to force it up. The smoke curls upward toward the whale’s blowhole.)
GEPPETTO. Getting out? But how?
PINOCCHIO. We'll make him sneeze!
GEPPETTO. Make him sneeze? Oh, that will make him mad!
PINOCCHIO. Hurry, Father!
GEPPETTO. We’ll never get by those teeth!
PINOCCHIO. Oh, yes, we will!
(A deep rumbling is heard. The whale sneezes, and through the magic of projection screens, the raft sails out of the whale and onto the ocean.)
JIMINY. Gesundheit.
(Suddenly, the whale rises from the deep.)
GEPPETTO. Look! I told you he’d be furious! Paddle, son!
(GEPPETTO, JIMINY and PINOCCHIO paddle as fast as possible; at a crucial juncture, the whale lunges at them, but they jump off the raft just in time. At this point, members of the ENSEMBLE enter with large sheets to represent water. GEPPETTO begins to drown, but PINOCCHIO attempts to drags him over to shore.)
Pinocchio, swim for shore. Swim for shore. Save... yourself. Pinocchio... save yourself. Don't mind me, son. Save yourself... Pinocchio.
(After a moment, the ENSEMBLE leaves. GEPPETTO and JIMINY gasp for air, but PINOCCHIO…his puppeteer is gone, and the puppet is lying lifeless on the shore. GEPPETTO slowly picks up the puppet and he and JIMINY head off.)
SCENE 9: FINALE
(We’re back in GEPPETTO’s workshop. GEPPETTO lies the puppet on the bed and sobs at its side. JIMINY removes his hat. Suddenly, a bright light surrounds the puppet.)
FAIRY (v.o.). Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you will be a real boy. Awake, Pinocchio. Awake.
(When the light recedes, the puppet is gone…and there is his puppeteer, now dressed as PINOCCHIO. This symbolizes that PINOCCHIO has become a real boy. He notices GEPPETTO.)
PINOCCHIO. Father, whatcha cryin’ for?
GEPPETTO. You’re dead, Pinocchio.
PINOCCHIO. No, I’m not!
GEPPETTO. Yes, yes you are. Now lie down.
PINOCCHIO. But father, I'm alive. See?
(He looks himself over.) And... and I'm... I'm real. I'm a real boy!
(THAT makes GEPPETTO and JIMINY look up.)
GEPPETTO. You're alive! And... and you are a real boy!
JIMINY. Whoopee!
GEPPETTO. This calls for a celebration! Professor! Lots of music!
(As the music boxes play a joyous rendition of “When You Wish Upon a Star”, PINOCCHIO and GEPPETTO dance. JIMINY watches.)
JIMINY. Well! This is practically where I came in.
(After a moment, the music boxes fade out to a soft orchestral rendition of the song. He faces us, and speaks to something in the distance.)
Thank you, milady. He deserved to be a real boy. And it sure was nice of you to...
(Suddenly, an ENSEMBLE MEMBER, now wearing a light-emblazoned suit, similar to those worn in ‘Mary Poppins’…
…places a golden badge on JIMINY’s lapel.)
Well, I'll be! My, my! Solid gold, too. Oh, I think it's swell!
FATE IS KIND
SHE BRINGS TO THOSE WHO LOVE
THE SWEET FULFILLMENT OF
THEIR SECRET LONGING
(GEPPETTO’s workshop fades away to reveal a gorgeous night sky. The FULL CAST comes out to close the show in song.)
FULL CAST.
LIKE A BOLT OUT OF THE BLUE
FATE STEPS IN AND SEES YOU THROUGH
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR
YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!
(Blackout.)
(To an instrumental of “Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee”, the CAST takes their bows, in this order: Ensemble, Coachman & Lampwick, Stromboli, Honest John & Gideon, The Blue Fairy, Geppetto, Jiminy and Pinocchio. All come together for one last bow.
Curtain closes.)
