Trip Report Phil getting swallowed by a shark is so September. It's time for a November Disney trip report!!!

NOTE - November 7, 2016 - For those of you just looking for the Disney portion of this trip report, it begins on Page 11. If you're looking for the Key West portion, begin on Page 5. PS - Original title of this thread was "Phil got swallowed by a Great White Shark - it's time to go back!"

NOTE - September 9, 2016 - For those of you who don't feel like scrolling through the "pre-trip report" stuff, I totally get it and the Key West portion of the actual trip begins on Page Five. The Disney Old Key West portion will begin in November. :) I'll give the page that starts on too. Now back to your regularly scheduled pre-trip report for those who want to read all of the posts.
***************************************************************************

Well, not exactly.

Or should I say, not yet.

Or should I say, Phil is actually the Great White Shark.

Ummm.... what exactly am I saying here, or trying to say, totally unsuccessfully?

Well, here goes.

For those of you who don't chat with us on the Chit Chat Thread, and damn you to all of you who don't (kidding! - come chat!), you will not really know how anti-Disney my partner Phil has been toward Disney since our last trip, which was last June. I'm not going to mince words - he has basically been a total jerk. Every time I bring up going back to Disney, he does something very similar to this:



The last time I brought it up, he said, and I quote, "I would rather be waterboarded than go back there!!!"

That can be arranged, is what I was thinking.

But wait! How can he possibly hate it so much when he acts like he loves it when he is there?? Your honor, I present to you the following evidence:

Biergarten.JPG

And this (if he's a little less happy here it's just cause there is no drink in his paw. :hungover:

Mexico.JPG


And this!

Boardwalk Villa.JPG


And this!!

Spoons.JPG


I could keep going all night, but you get the idea. I find him guilty of secretly liking Disney - at least once he gets there. This is not a tortured, miserable soul at a Disney park. He is having fun. So why all the pushback for going back?

Well, let me quote once again:

"I don't know why we have to go there all the time when there all all sorts of other places to go to!!!!"

Okay. Point taken. I didn't bring it up again for a while.

Then, a series of unfortunate events happened in very quick order, or actually just two that felt like a lot:

I got downsized (that means fired, due to budget cutbacks) from a job I had held for 19 years.Here is what was my incredible office:

Office 4.JPG


And then, soon after, our little cat, Spooky, started screaming in the middle of the night and we ran downstairs to find out what was going on, and the back half of him was paralyzed and cold. He wouldn't stop screaming. We rushed him as fast as possible to a 24-7 animal hospital and they told us that he had a sudden blood clot that had burst and paralyzed him and there was a 99.9% chance that there was no hope. We were basically forced to put Spooky to sleep. :(

Spooky hockey.JPG

Spooky snow.JPG
Spooky tub.JPG

The tears flowed like the River Jordan.

Yeah, it's been a rough patch folks.

But on the good news side, my contract got picked up by one of my previous job's competitors, and I was only out of work for 2 weeks. On the other hand, nothing can replace a sweet cat that didn't deserve to go in such a violent way. Where am I going with this?

Oh yes, that's right. You see, from my previous job, I got a small, but to me, significant severance package. People I tell about it laugh and say it's nothing, but to me, who has lived from paycheck to paycheck my entire life, I finally have money in the bank ---- but not for long if I have anything to say about it, dammit!!

This is my very long and meandering way of saying that I finally convinced Phil to go back to Disney, but only because I surprised him by telling him that for his birthday (on September 15), I was taking him to Key West. We've never been, and assuming that he does not get swallowed by the great white shark in the title of this thread, we are then doing a Key West-a-Palooza and we are going to be staying at Old Key West from November 1 - 4 for Food and Wine Festival.

Look! I themed our Fall! :)

I feel like this resort is totally out of the way of everything, but when I looked at the 25% discount offer that they currently have, I was able to book a one bedroom villa (!!!!) at Old Key West for $150.00 less than it would have been to book a standard room at the Contemporary. It was kind of like an offer I could not refuse.

Yeah, so three nights is basically just a tease, but as I told my pals on the Chit Chat thread (and again, why aren't the rest of you having fun there too??) , I'm going to use this as an excuse to demand a new trip for 2017. ;) And since the Philmonster is bound to throw a fit about that, I am going to search out that Bounce Back Offer as soon as I get to the room. :) If you want, I'll post the details/pics of the Key West trip in September prior to the November trip to the World.

Hope you are all having a great summer.

:D
 
Last edited:

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
DRUMROLL PLEASE!! THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART NINE

So, we had a slice of birthday cake - it turned out it was red velvet with cream cheese icing - Thank You Amazing Cakes and Creations from Key West - it wasn't what we ordered but it was delicious. Oh we also had cheap champagne, but you probably knew that already, didn't you? o_O

So while we were shoving cake down our throats, I wondered out loud what time the Key West Winery might close, because you see, we wanted to go check this out before our evening cruise. So I called them up, and they said they were closing in a half hour. WHAAAAT? I need wine made out of crazy items! Let's go!

We hopped in a cab and were immediately transported here:
Key West Winery.JPG

Yes ladies and gentlemen, it is real. I had read in Esquire a few years ago that there was at least one winery in every state of America, and here is the one in Florida! Actually, there are others. And if you want a handy site that lists wineries by every state, here you go.

http://www.wineriesbystate.com/

PS - They do not list Key West Winery, so now I think I hallucinated the entire thing!

But wait, I have photographic evidence.

Here we are before our tasting (that is Phil's hand):

winery inside.JPG

And what were we tasting? Well......

Key-West-Winery wines.jpg


That's right - wine made out of mangos, coconuts, key limes and pineapples. :confused:

And let's not forget this beauty, which is made out of carrots:

wine-40karat-510x600.png

If you are all done throwing up in your mouths now at the thought of carrot wine, I must tell you that insanely, this was the best of the bunch. It tasted exactly like cold sake.

The others were very sweet and in the end, we didn't end up buying anything, but that was because we were on our way to this and we didn't want to haul around glass bottles all night:

Commotion sign.JPG


So off we go, on the Commotion on the Ocean Sunset Cruise, which includes all you can drink margaritas, wine, or beer, and a live band, and eventually, for me, a bloody knee - but I'm getting ahead of myself.

It turned out to be the exact same boat that we took when we did the snorkeling cruise - no problem with that. Annnd, we're off!!

And we're off!.JPG


More in a few minutes!
 

Attachments

  • boat boarding at same time.JPG
    boat boarding at same time.JPG
    50.3 KB · Views: 38
  • And we're off!.JPG
    And we're off!.JPG
    39.4 KB · Views: 34

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
DRUMROLL PLEASE!! THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART TEN

So we were off. And here I am, in my stupid sailor type shirt - I never cease to offend the fashion community:

Buddy Commotion.JPG



As we sailed out into the ocean, we passed this guy:

rowboat.JPG


For some reason, it made me think of Jaws.
jaws rowboat.jpg


No, but I'm sure Mr. Crazy Rowboat Man is safe and sound, even though he has rowed all the way out into the middle of the sea.....

And since I don't have too much footage of our Commotion on the Ocean cruise, let's just say that when they tell you it's unlimited booze, they mean it. Every time my glass (I mean plastic dixie cup) was empty, they came with a pitcher and filled it up with more margaritas.

And as they are filling me up over and over and over again, why don't you watch this little video about Commotion on the Ocean, because within the next hour on this cruise, I'm about to get in big trouble....from who else...Phil!

 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Continuing from last section. Yeah, that's basically the cruise, and in case you didn't know, 17,000 dixie cups of margaritas can make a person quite intoxicated. Who knew?

Oh, plus! Phil and I found Chablis and Blush! No, these are not the names of the two new drag queens on the block - we actually had a conversation a while back and had wondered - whatever happened to "chablis" and "blush" wine types. Neither of us could remember seeing these since childhood. Well, they both showed up in gigantic jugs on the cruise:

chablis.jpe
blush.jpg


Hurray! Blush and Chablis still exist. They should serve them while singing a song from the 1970's. ;)

Annnnnyway, I'm just delaying the inevitable, which is when, after 250,000 dixie cups of margaritas, I decided that I had to go to the restroom, which was accessible only by climbing down a very steep staircase (there were four steps) but you had to climb down it in a weird way, and I got there all in one piece, but coming back up, I went timmmmmmmberrrrrrrrr and fell flat on my face.

Apparently 250,000 margs is a few too many. I was fine, I thought, until I realized that I had done a classic knee scrape. You know, the kind you get as a little kid when you fall on the sidewalk and start screaming hysterically when you realize that the skin you used to have on your knee has just been eaten by the sidewalk.

Waaaaaaaa.jpe


Well, I was a bit of a bloodbath. Too bad I didn't have my Carrie White shirt on from Cali Grill, it would have matched up perfectly:

Cali Buddy.JPG


I just laughed it off and went and got napkins - lots and lots of napkins - to stop the chum that was flowing out of my knee gash.

And where was Phil? Well, he makes pals everywhere, and he was off talking to like every person on the boat, but when he came and found the bloody hag of the seven seas, I was immediately in the doghouse.

Excuse me for having so much fun that I fell!

Anyway, the boat staff gave me two band-aids, and it was fine.

So two hours later, the cruise ended, and we were deposited back onto land.

A normal person might go back to their hotel room at this point, right? But we're not normal, and therefore, it was time to go to a club @tonythetigger recommended called La Te Da!

La Te Da.JPG


There was another drag show - Key West loves sunsets and drag! Is this Cher???
Cher.JPG

Errr.......no.

But it was fun. Of course, after a margarita cruise and a drag show, it was the middle of the night and where were we possibly going to go to dinner? One of all the amazing restaurants that I researched? Oh but wait - they are all closed. So that leaves us with:

Denny's_logo.svg.png



Arrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

PS - side note - I used to be a dishwasher, and then busboy, and then waiter at Denny's when I was in high school and college - but that is another story. A horrible, horrible story.

Here is Phil feeding attitude about the entire situation:

Phil Dennys.JPG

He's still mad at me because I fell and scraped my freaking knee. Big whoop. It happens. Wait until he sees what I do at Food and Wine Festival.

Kidding, kidding, I'll behave.

As for Denny's I think I was just drunk enough to order the Super Bird -

super bird.jpe


And Phil ordered the Moons Over My Hammy - errgghh.
Moons.jpg


And after that, we and our compromised arteries and livers stumbled home to the Southernmost Beach Resort, and lived happily ever after.....at least until the next morning.

More next week. I think probably Monday or Tuesday, In the meantime, have a great weekend!
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
DRUMROLL PLEASE!! THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART EIGHT

Okay, so where were we? I've lost track.

Oh yeah, it's the day after the Rum and Reggae snorkel cruise, and it also happens to be Phil's birthday!! And if you've read my previous reports, you might recall what Phil has to have on a birthday.

A cake!!!!! Yeah, yeah, imagine that. I know it is a typical thing to want, but for me personally, I could care less. But as I've mentioned in previous reports, Phil is practically psychotic about it - he is the Cake Monster and for some insane reason he cannot function on his birthday unless someone gets him a cake. The situation is kind of like this, from Creepshow:

View attachment 165577
Well birthday, not Father's Day, but you get the point, and I ordered his damned cake before we arrived from someplace called Amazing Cakes and Creations in Key West. Here is what his cake was supposed to look like:

View attachment 165578
Yeah, I don't know how amazing it is, but at least it has starfish and shells on it - you know - for Key West.

Anyway, remember this picture because it will come up later.

But for now, we are out of bed and hitting the pool. (I'm skipping through breakfast because we did the exact same thing as the previous day).

And at the pool today, live music!!

View attachment 165581
Beautiful weather, great music, sounds like it's time to get a tiny little drink:

View attachment 165582
Well, if you insist! :D

Then, we discovered that we had a "cruise director". His name was Mike, but we just called him Sarge, because he is a former Marine.

View attachment 165583

Right after this, we played Bingo in the pool.

In.
The.
Pool.

BINGO.

And soon thereafter, I officially transformed into an old lady.

View attachment 165596

Oh yeah, and there were prizes, and we both lost. :mad:

We decided to step back over to the beach and dipped into the ocean for a while. Phil dipped farther than I did. He went full swim. I dipped a toe.

View attachment 165584
After that, I was starting to get pretty sunburned, even though I was wearing level 30 SPF. I guess when you are at the bottom of the country, you are turning into a lobster whether you like it or not, especially if you are the palest person ever born like me. It was time to go in. Luckily, Sarge was doing a free beer tasting class back at the resort:
View attachment 165585
This is before it started, but we tasted like four beers and it was a lot of fun. Phil actually won a contest at the end where everyone had to identify beer labels without the name of the beer on them. Naturally, Phil aced that little test. The prize? A Rum and Reggae Snorkeling Cruise for two!!!! I am not even kidding.

We donated it to the first runner up and they were thrilled.

So...then what happened?

Errr, ummm, oh yes, I had to get ready to have Phil's birthday party before our evening event, Commotion on the Ocean.

So I told Phil to go swimming again, and to come up to the room in 15 minutes.

I ran to the front desk to see if the cake had been delivered, and YES, it had!

I raced to the room to set everything up, I opened the cake box, expecting the cake I ordered, with the starfish and the shells.

Apparently, they ran out of starfish and shells.

And here is the cake:

View attachment 165587
No starfish. No shells. But chocolate covered strawberries. I'll take it!!!

Also, thanks for adding an extra L to his name.

But hey, it was delicious, and Phil loved it as you can see:

View attachment 165590

So there you have it.

Next, we head to the Key West Winery - yes - that really exists - and then to Commotion on the Ocean, and they ain't whistlin' Dixie with the name of that cruise. Back to you with that soon.

:)
Yummm...I'd actually rather have the cake you got than the one you ordered, but that's just me. But it looked DELICIOUS!
And I so hear you about getting sunburnt! I burned through SPF 50.
 

Tony the Tigger

Well-Known Member
DRUMROLL PLEASE!! THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART TEN

So we were off. And here I am, in my stupid sailor type shirt - I never cease to offend the fashion community:

View attachment 166034


As we sailed out into the ocean, we passed this guy:

View attachment 166032

For some reason, it made me think of Jaws.
View attachment 166033

No, but I'm sure Mr. Crazy Rowboat Man is safe and sound, even though he has rowed all the way out into the middle of the sea.....

And since I don't have too much footage of our Commotion on the Ocean cruise, let's just say that when they tell you it's unlimited booze, they mean it. Every time my glass (I mean plastic dixie cup) was empty, they came with a pitcher and filled it up with more margaritas.

And as they are filling me up over and over and over again, why don't you watch this little video about Commotion on the Ocean, because within the next hour on this cruise, I'm about to get in big trouble....from who else...Phil!



White people vacation-dancing. Love.
 

Tony the Tigger

Well-Known Member
Annnnnyway, I'm just delaying the inevitable, which is when, after 250,000 dixie cups of margaritas, I decided that I had to go to the restroom, which was accessible only by climbing down a very steep staircase (there were four steps) but you had to climb down it in a weird way, and I got there all in one piece, but coming back up, I went timmmmmmmberrrrrrrrr and fell flat on my face.

For balance, I did that at a piano bar in NYC a few years ago - and I was only drinking beer (by the gallon.) Did my little number and then (as I was told would happen) everyone from Broadway comes and sings so you never want to sing again until you drink a lot more to kill the nerves. They have a very steep, short staircase going up to a little bathroom. Made it several times without issue. The last time, I made it up with no issues, but came down on my bee-hind. And...scene.

So we cancel each other out!
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster

DRUMROLL PLEASE!! THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART ELEVEN

Sorry for the delay everyone. Lots going on.

So let's finish this up so we can get out of this 95 degree tropical hellhole and get on to the real thing - Fake Key West at Disney dammit!!!
You don't have to worry about sharks and barracudas and iguanas and jellyfish at Disney, do you?

Oh and this thing is also there as well as about ten bazillion of his brothers and sisters:

chicken.JPG

Just running around all over the place.
;)
So anyway, as we wake up on our last full day of Key West-a-thon and go out to the beach and here is the sign that greets us:
sign.JPG


And it was then a lot of: swim, lay around, drink, swim, lay around, drink, swim, lay around, drink, etc etc etc. Where's Big Thunder? Where's Splash Mountain? Where's Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?

No one would give me the answers to these philosophical questions, and so, after hours of laying around and drinking and swimming (and we had an uneventful hotel lunch), it was time to go down Duval Street again.

Because in Key West, there is not much else to do as a tourist except go in the water, and go down Duval Street. That is kind of the entire vacation. It's fun, but I think maybe one day less might have been in order.

But, since we are here, let's go. One last time down Duval:

Sloppy daytime.JPG

And then we started to notice bikes.

Bikes 1.JPG

And more bikes.

Bikes 2.JPG

And even more bikes. They were everywhere!! Which is fine, but I mean they were everywhere:
Bikes 3.JPG

It didn't take us long to find out that it was some sort of bikers weekend in Key West (duh, Buddy!) I don't recall the name, but it was a pretty huge festival of some sort.

Phil was sure I was going to pull a Pee Wee Herman and knock all the bikes over.



But that never happened.

Instead, we went to Mallory Square, where every tourist who is not on a sunset boat cruise goes to see the sunset:

Mallory sign.JPG


Here is the skinned-knee boat we were on last night - the sunset cruise, but now we are land-lubbers!

Commotion from shore.JPG


Annnnd the sunset:

sunset mallory 1.JPG
sunset mallory 2.JPG

And.....set!

And with that, it says I may not upload any more photos in this message, so I take that as my cue to go to bed for my early meeting tomorrow. I HATE early meetings! ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! I can't even wake up for rope drop!!!

There is just a little more to go on this somewhat dull little trip report to Key West but remember, we are all soon going to take a magical trip to fake Key West where I will be in exactly one month from tonight.

Back to you tomorrow to finish this part up.

:)
 
Last edited:

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
...assuming fake Key West still exists after Matthew.

Hmmm, maybe @Tuvalu and I can get back in a month lol.
Arrrghh..... I'm sending you my best hopes and wishes, and stuff, but of course, that is about as valuable as a bag of dirt. But seriously, as a Florida native, I am holding my breath and hoping you guys will be okay. I think you will be.

This beast could slide on up to NYC too, which would suck, because it would arrive right around Saturday, when we are supposed to go to this outdoor festival -arrrghgghhhh

http://foldfestival.com/
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
PS - Phil found out about the Bounce Back Offer that is apparently somewhere in the room.

At which point this exchange happened:

Phil Monster - We're not bouncing back - arrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Me - Oh, but we are, and I have been told by my WDW Magic pals where to find the offer.

Phil Monster - When that door to the room opens, it's going to be like a competition on the Amazing Race to find the Bounce Back Offer, and if I get there first I am going to shred it!!!

Yeeessshhh.

So, you see what I am dealing with here.

But I love the ideas of us putting the key in the door and then racing through the room to find the Bounce Back Offer like a couple of loons from a reality show.

But you guys are going to need to tell me exactly where this thing is so I can bounce back without Phil Monster's shenanigans.

;)
 

Tony the Tigger

Well-Known Member
PS - Phil found out about the Bounce Back Offer that is apparently somewhere in the room.

At which point this exchange happened:

Phil Monster - We're not bouncing back - arrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Me - Oh, but we are, and I have been told by my WDW Magic pals where to find the offer.

Phil Monster - When that door to the room opens, it's going to be like a competition on the Amazing Race to find the Bounce Back Offer, and if I get there first I am going to shred it!!!

Yeeessshhh.

So, you see what I am dealing with here.

But I love the ideas of us putting the key in the door and then racing through the room to find the Bounce Back Offer like a couple of loons from a reality show.

But you guys are going to need to tell me exactly where this thing is so I can bounce back without Phil Monster's shenanigans.

;)

Where I saw it, he can't shred it!

It was in the little binder of info about the resort. It's one of the pages in the book, so ripping it out would be destruction of property in your room.

I think I remember reading other people finding something different, but that's what we found - I think it was at CBR.

Plus, even if he tore it up, I think you can just call the front desk and ask(?)

And we are thinking of finding a pet friendly hotel in Naples or something.
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
PART TWELVE - GOODBYE KEY WEST!

So, just picking up where we left off, after sunset, Mallory Square goes crazy with all sorts of street performers. One of the most famous ones is a really insane cat show that went a little something like this:

Sunset cats.jpg
Sunset cats 2.jpg


There was also a guy on a unicycle playing with fire.

fire unicycle.JPG


And then, time for dinner.

We went to a really cool place called Smokin' Tuna - http://www.smokintunasaloon.com/

Here are some shots of our last supper. Phil is having some sort of really fresh Key West fish dinner. I am certain I am eating a chicken sandwich with fries. I might have to rethink this anti-seafood thing:

Smokin Phil.JPG
Smokin Buddy.JPG

It was getting late, it was the last night, and we were both kind of heat exhausted (and liver exhausted) so we started to head back to the resort. But not before I found Mr. Darth and copied Phil's pic. Oh yeah, you will notice more Fat Tuesday's drinks for the walk back.

Darth Buddy.JPG

Thanks for the blurry pic, Phil, argh.

Back at the resort, Phil decided on one last dip in the pool:

Phil pool night.JPG

Ahhhh. Purple Rain......


The next day, it was time to go.

Remember when I was so excited that they had a beach bar next to the baggage claim at the Key West arrivals terminal? Well, they have an outdoor one at the Departures terminal! And here is Phil in a very big chair.

Phil giant chair.JPG


And me!

Buddy last call.JPG

If you look closely, you can see the skinned knee. Errrghh......

And folks, that, as they say, is that. One last thing, back in JFK....

No beach bar here.JPG

Well, there ain't no beach bar at this baggage claim!

So to recap, we survived barracudas,giant iguanas, 10 million jellyfish, 10 million drinks, flocks of chickens marauding the streets, a biker festival, drag queens and straight people partying together (!!), endless french fries, pool Bingo, and the sun! Hey, after all of that, Old Key West in November should be a snap. ;)

Back to you with that soon.

PS - Our Magic Bands shipped today. Whoo-hooooo!!!
 

Register on WDWMAGIC. This sidebar will go away, and you'll see fewer ads.

Back
Top Bottom