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New Park Opening at WDW - The Onion
- Thread starter Ben_since_1971
- Start date
Smiddimizer
Well-Known Member
Gotta love The Onion.
JohnD
Well-Known Member
My favorite quotes:
"“We’ve considered every detail to ensure parents and their kids have the heated argument of a lifetime,” said Bartlett, explaining that the park was split into five themed “lands,” including Fatigue Island and Hunger Lagoon, each of which can be reached by Mickey’s Congestion Junction Railway. "
"Bartlett went on to add that the Disney FastPass service will be available in the new park, giving irritable visitors the opportunity to squabble over whether they wasted their no-wait ride selection too early in the day."
"Officials noted that Ordeal Kingdom also features live shows on five different stages, each one tailored to appeal exclusively to one gender and age group, with all shows occurring simultaneously once per day during lunchtime."
"“We’ve considered every detail to ensure parents and their kids have the heated argument of a lifetime,” said Bartlett, explaining that the park was split into five themed “lands,” including Fatigue Island and Hunger Lagoon, each of which can be reached by Mickey’s Congestion Junction Railway. "
"Bartlett went on to add that the Disney FastPass service will be available in the new park, giving irritable visitors the opportunity to squabble over whether they wasted their no-wait ride selection too early in the day."
"Officials noted that Ordeal Kingdom also features live shows on five different stages, each one tailored to appeal exclusively to one gender and age group, with all shows occurring simultaneously once per day during lunchtime."
GenerationX
Well-Known Member
Heh, I love the "designated storm-off areas" and "No trip to Disney is complete without everyone in your party losing all emotional self-control".
MotherOfBirds
Well-Known Member
It was the Black Cauldron bit that did me in.
ClassicMickeyFan
New Member
I'd add something like, "In addition, guests are welcome to bring selfie-sticks, iPads, and all manner of highly obstructive video equipment into the park and encouraged to use them as often as possible during all parades, shows, and fireworks to ensure that no guest gets an unobstructed view of *anything* during their visit..."
Genius!!!