Trip Report A cat on my head is not my idea of a fun Saturday night! I'M GOIN' BACK!!!!!!

POSSIBLE pre-trip

Soooo, I've been teasing (my partner) Phil for a while, because he hates the idea of going back to the World since we were just there. Well....."just" if you count last June as "just".

So of course on Christmas, I freaked him out by making him believe that he was going to unwrap some Magic Bands and a resort reservation. He didn't. He unwrapped a NutriNinja and a shirt or two.

And now I've started to joke with him about giving him a surprise trip present for Valentine's Day. So, over the weekend, this conversation happened:

Phil: You know what? I don't care if I ever go back there.

Me: Oh, really?

Phil: Yeah. As a matter of fact, I NEVER wanna go back there.

Me: How can you say that? You always have so much fun when you're there.

Phil: It's hot. It's crowded. It's miserable. We've seen everything. I'm not going back!

Me: Fine!

Phil: Fine!

We eat our pizza in silence for a few minutes. Oh, I forgot to mention - we were out for pizza dinner.

pizza.JPG


Then:

Me: Ya, know, I can just go without you.

Phil: I wish you would.

Me: So maybe I will.

Phil: So maybe you should.

I've threatened this before but have never followed through with it, because as much as he protests, I know he will get really jealous right up at the point when I am leaving for five days or so of fun. I'll be having a wonderful time flying around inside a space mountain or drinking around a world, and he gets to stay home and give cats a ride around the house on his head in a basket on a Saturday night.

Oh, did I not mention this before? We have very demanding cats.

Buddy cat head.jpg



Lemme tell you something. If someone told me in my 20's that I would spend Saturday nights in my 40's giving a cat a guided tour of the house in a basket on my head, I would have punched them in the face.

So, annnyway...........This conversation got a bit heated, filled with lots of "I don't know why you need to go back when you been there a million times" and "Why don't you just let me do what I want to do" and blah blah blah blah.

After pizza and a couple of carafes of wine, I was like "You know what, I'm doing it!"

So while Phil drove us home in icy silence, I texted my actor friend, Paul (and fellow drunkard) who I have known since college, and said:

"Phil just told me he's never going to Disney again. F- that. I'm going. Wanna come?"

And seconds later, Paul texted back and said:

"Of course! I'll go to Disney in a heartbeat! Let me know when!!!!!!"

So, there's the very distinct possibility that I might get to return to WDW this year.

I went with Paul once before, and also with our mutual friend, Mario Cantone (the comedian from Sex and the City, The View, etc.) Here we are in a few shots from that trip, impossibly young - The below I think is the Osbourne Lights but someone will correct me if I am wrong:

lights.jpg



And this is the Rainforest Cafe at Animal Kingdom. On this day, Julie Andrews sat down a few tables away from us with a pretty big entourage. What is cooler than seeing Julie Andres at Disney? Mario, being a semi-celeb at the time, went to say hi to her and had a long conversation. Paul and I cowered at our own table and sucked down bloody marys.

Rainforest.JPG


Then there was some shenanigans in front of Dinosaur.

Dino.jpg


And an audience with Pooh.

Pooh.jpg


Oh look. I used to think I was a little surfer, with a little white necklace, and a wacky Hawaiian shirt. Sigh.

Rocket.JPG


And here is Flock of Seagulls, I mean, err, me, riding in a Tomorrowland rocket.

So, this is all my very long winded way of saying that there might be a trip in my near future if I am willing to go through with it and leave Phil at home and take my friend Paul instead.

I just got a text from Paul and he said he can do it in April.

Never been in April. Are there cheerleaders? Tour groups? etc?

Fast passes and reservations for meals probably already gone. Yes? No?

Update. Just got another text from Paul. He says: "Let's book it."

Argghhhhh. I think I am going to go for it. Phil doesn't think I am going to go through with this, but he's the one who started it by saying he will never go again. Ahhh well. He can have a fun time riding cats around on his head while I am riding on a Monorail. I hope this doesn't lead to divorce court.

;)

Stay tuned!
 
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BuddyThomas

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Sooooooo.......we just got back from Phoenix. Lots of pics, and even some similarities to Disney. Errr, yah, that's a big stretch, but for example, there was a fun pool, an unexpected tiki bar, and an audience with lots of Disney princesses, and even an Evil Queen. That's right, Phil. I'm lookin' at you. Kidding, kidding. But we really did have an audience with the Evil Queen. Let me get my pictures in order and then maybe I can start this thing up later tonight. Cause I know you guys are just dying to hear about the drunken misadventures of a couple of NYC reprobates visiting a city that rolls up its sidewalks at about 9PM.
;)
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
BuddyThomas said:
Sooooooo.......we just got back from Phoenix. Lots of pics, and even some similarities to Disney. Errr, yah, that's a big stretch, but for example, there was a fun pool, an unexpected tiki bar, and an audience with lots of Disney princesses, and even an Evil Queen. That's right, Phil. I'm lookin' at you. Kidding, kidding. But we really did have an audience with the Evil Queen. Let me get my pictures in order and then maybe I can start this thing up later tonight. Cause I know you guys are just dying to hear about the drunken misadventures of a couple of NYC reprobates visiting a city that rolls up its sidewalks at about 9PM.
;)
Click to expand...

Ha! Can't wait to hear about your latest antics! :joyfull:
 
BuddyThomas

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
ajrwdwgirl said:
It should be to hear about your misadventures!:)
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The good thing is that no one got locked out of the room naked on this trip. Well, good for me anyway. It would have made for a more interesting trip report if I did it a second time. Then again, if I did it a second time, you guys have my full permission to call the men in the white suits to scoop me up in a butterfly net to haul me off to a rubber room.
:)
 
BuddyThomas

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Okay, so here we go.

This was supposed to be a real and actual Disney World trip report, but everything got totally derailed for reasons mentioned, so here is a trip report about Phoenix, Arizona.If you hate it, you should blame @build_it who suggested that I post this thing.

Here is how this came about:

Ya see, I wrote a little play called Devil Boys from Beyond, which played the NY International Fringe Festival, won Best Play, transferred off-Broadway, and has subsequently been performed around the country, as well as in Germany and Scandinavia. Not braggin, although I realize it may sound like it - just setting the stage for how Wonderland Wives happened.

Devil Boys was total over the top camp comedy about a possible alien invasion in the 1950's. Please to enjoy a PG-13 scene from one of the regional productions, but this has adult humor and a bit of salty language, so please do not click the link if you are not into that kind of thing. Don't worry - I will entertain you with G-rated entertainment in Phoenix shortly - or something. ;)



So anyway, Phil pitched a freaking fit when I suggested going back to the world a year after the first trip. Lots of arguments, but he is really just done with Disney. What can ya do? And as it happened, my new play was getting a production in Phoenix, Arizona, where neither of us had been. Therefore, I figured I could give he Phil Monster a trip somewhere new and we could see my play. One of my clients asked me to kill Jan Brewer while I was there, but since I am not an assassin, or Dorothy, I declined that little tidbit.

So off we go. Here I am at the Air Train Station, because I'm poor. ;)

Air train.JPG


And then I was at the airport, where I met Phil, and I was surrounded by Disney.

sad disney buddy.JPG

Well, not surrounded exactly, but you get the idea.

We got there earlier than we thought so there was time to go to a bar. Can you imagine? Buddy and Phil going to a bar before a plane? Unheard of. Phil refused to take my picture because he hates social media (and Disney, and everything else in the world), so please to enjoy this terrible selfie.

selfie bar buddy.JPG

And then I had to go to the restroom, and as I walked out of the lounge and toward the restroom, this is what I saw:

orlando.JPG


ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After I scraped my brain off the floor, I took this pic of Phil looking very self satisfied at the Phoenix boarding gate:

phoenix phil.JPG


And then we were off.

On the plane, Phil decided to have a banana:

banana phil.JPG

And I had a view of First Class that looked like this:

first class view.JPG


I totally wanted to pull a Kristen Wiig from Bridesmaids and do this (again, adult - don't click if you are offended):



And then we landed:

phoenix airport.JPG


So it's getting late, and I need to end it here. In the next post, I promise you we will check into a very weird hotel, visit a very weird tiki bar, and there will be cocktails that will be drank out of coconuts. See you soon.
;)
 
Figgy1

Figgy1

Premium Member
BuddyThomas said:
Okay, so here we go.

This was supposed to be a real and actual Disney World trip report, but everything got totally derailed for reasons mentioned, so here is a trip report about Phoenix, Arizona.If you hate it, you should blame @build_it who suggested that I post this thing.

Here is how this came about:

Ya see, I wrote a little play called Devil Boys from Beyond, which played the NY International Fringe Festival, won Best Play, transferred off-Broadway, and has subsequently been performed around the country, as well as in Germany and Scandinavia. Not braggin, although I realize it may sound like it - just setting the stage for how Wonderland Wives happened.

Devil Boys was total over the top camp comedy about a possible alien invasion in the 1950's. Please to enjoy a PG-13 scene from one of the regional productions, but this has adult humor and a bit of salty language, so please do not click the link if you are not into that kind of thing. Don't worry - I will entertain you with G-rated entertainment in Phoenix shortly - or something. ;)



So anyway, Phil pitched a freaking fit when I suggested going back to the world a year after the first trip. Lots of arguments, but he is really just done with Disney. What can ya do? And as it happened, my new play was getting a production in Phoenix, Arizona, where neither of us had been. Therefore, I figured I could give he Phil Monster a trip somewhere new and we could see my play. One of my clients asked me to kill Jan Brewer while I was there, but since I am not an assassin, or Dorothy, I declined that little tidbit.

So off we go. Here I am at the Air Train Station, because I'm poor. ;)

View attachment 138458

And then I was at the airport, where I met Phil, and I was surrounded by Disney.

View attachment 138459
Well, not surrounded exactly, but you get the idea.

We got there earlier than we thought so there was time to go to a bar. Can you imagine? Buddy and Phil going to a bar before a plane? Unheard of. Phil refused to take my picture because he hates social media (and Disney, and everything else in the world), so please to enjoy this terrible selfie.

View attachment 138460
And then I had to go to the restroom, and as I walked out of the lounge and toward the restroom, this is what I saw:

View attachment 138461

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After I scraped my brain off the floor, I took this pic of Phil looking very self satisfied at the Phoenix boarding gate:

View attachment 138462

And then we were off.

On the plane, Phil decided to have a banana:

View attachment 138463
And I had a view of First Class that looked like this:

View attachment 138464

I totally wanted to pull a Kristen Wiig from Bridesmaids and do this (again, adult - don't click if you are offended):



And then we landed:

View attachment 138465

So it's getting late, and I need to end it here. In the next post, I promise you we will check into a very weird hotel, visit a very weird tiki bar, and there will be cocktails that will be drank out of coconuts. See you soon.
;)
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You're off to a great start and so mature. I would have said something mean being at the airport surrounded by Disney items. I hope Phil payed for all the tiki bar drinks as he's a real Grinch LOL The only reason I'm going to get back to back Florida vacations this year and next is because we're not bringing out kids next year, I know your pain!
 
BuddyThomas

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
So wait just one second - ------- my trip report to Phoenix is not as popular as my trip reports to Disney?!?!?! What the----?! Damn you @build_it for suggesting that I do this. ;)

Kidding, kidding.

So to my three audience members, here is how the rest of the trip went down.

We cabbed it from the Phoenix airport to a really funky hotel called the Clarendon Resort:

clarendon.PNG

clarendon 2.PNG


The room was painted kind of an angry red color on one wall, and a beige color on the rest of the walls - very South-Western feel, which I guess was the point:

room 1.JPG

Room 2.JPG

Honestly, we had mixed feelings about this place, but at this point, we were so tired and hungry that all we could thunk to do was to go downstairs and ask the front desk clerk if she had any suggestions of where to go for dinner. At this point, it was about 8:55 PM.

The clerk said: "Ohhhhhh....welll....most places will be closing in a little while."

I said: "But it's barely 9PM."

She said - "I know, but it's Wednesday."

Huh?!?!?!?

Then she lit up and said - "OH wait, you could go to Hula's Modern Tiki. I think they are open til 10:30."

Done. Where is it?

She told us it was within walking distance, ten minutes away.

Thirty minutes later, starving, exhausted, and sweaty, we arrived at Hula's Modern Tiki:

Hulas.PNG

You guys, it was very Polynesian in there. Things were looking up, a bit. They even had a Back Scratcher cocktail, and look who had one:

Phil Hula.JPG


Of course, at Ohana, the back scratcher is wood, and not plastic, but beggars can't be choosers. And as for me, I had a drink served in a coconut called a Pain Killer. That's right. My first drink in Phoenix was served in a coconut. Whhhhaaaaaat?

And in case you are wondering why the other drink in my other hand is not also in a coconut ------they ran out of coconuts! But wait, why do I have two drinks? Oh please...at this point, if you have to ask..... ;)

Buddy Hula.JPG

So the night came to an end, and they did last call at 10:45 (!!!), and we headed back to the room. But not before someone offered to take our picture outside the restaurant:

Hula Phil and Buddy.JPG

Bad pic, but what can you do?

Soon we were passed out in our room in anticipation of WONDERLAND WIVES at Phoenix Theatre the next night. And I'll get back to all three of you who reading this tomorrow with what happened with that. It involved a wild sold out audience, lots of drinks (duh), and an audience with lots of Princesses, and we didn't even need a Fast Pass.

Back to you soon.

:)
 
Tony the Tigger

Tony the Tigger

Well-Known Member
BuddyThomas said:
Sooooooo.......we just got back from Phoenix. Lots of pics, and even some similarities to Disney. Errr, yah, that's a big stretch, but for example, there was a fun pool, an unexpected tiki bar, and an audience with lots of Disney princesses, and even an Evil Queen. That's right, Phil. I'm lookin' at you. Kidding, kidding. But we really did have an audience with the Evil Queen. Let me get my pictures in order and then maybe I can start this thing up later tonight. Cause I know you guys are just dying to hear about the drunken misadventures of a couple of NYC reprobates visiting a city that rolls up its sidewalks at about 9PM.
;)
Click to expand...

I have been to Phoenix and I know this to be true! Also, the cops wait around all the gay bars at closing time.
 

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