Blonde Jokes

B

Blizz

New Member

Original Poster

• Jul 25, 2003

• #1

Got any good blonde jokes?




Here is one I got in an e-mail today:

A blind man walks into a bar, sits down on the barstool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very
Deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke,
Sir, I think it is just fair given that you are blind that you should know
Five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah,
Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

 

WDWFREAK53

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #2

Originally posted by Blizz
Got any good blonde jokes?




Here is one I got in an e-mail today:

A blind man walks into a bar, sits down on the barstool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very
Deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke,
Sir, I think it is just fair given that you are blind that you should know
Five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah,
Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Click to expand...

NOW THAT'S NOT NICE AT ALL!!!! THAT COMPLETELY DEGRADES BLONDE FEMALES AND I RESENT IT!!!






















(by the way...that is a great blonde joke :lol: )

 

B

Blizz

New Member

Original Poster

• Jul 25, 2003

• #3

LOL :lol:

BTW - I am part blonde and some days I act like a total blonde.

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #4

Does blond from a bottle count?


Blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. tee-shirt.

"Why are you wearing a 'Thank God it's Friday' tee-shirt on
Monday?" her friend asks.
"Oh shoot!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant
T**s Go In Front!"

 

WDWFREAK53

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #5

Originally posted by tigsmom
Does blond from a bottle count?


Blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. tee-shirt.

"Why are you wearing a 'Thank God it's Friday' tee-shirt on
Monday?" her friend asks.
"Oh shoot!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant
T**s Go In Front!"

Click to expand...

MOM!!!

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #6

Go look at your Disney shirt! :lol:

 

guwag

Active Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #7

How can you tell if a blonde has been using a word processor?
There's Tippex (Whiteout) on the screen :lol:

How do you change a blonde's mind?
Blow in their ear :lol:

I can tell these jokes cos I'm blond too

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #8

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her head?



She wanted to makeup her mind.

(ex natural blonde, present bottle blond)

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #9

A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

 

Lil'mermaid

New Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #10

Why did the blond stare at the orange juice bottle?




Because it said concentrate!! hahaha!


:lol:

 

Yellow Shoes

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #11

Why did it take the blonde 3 days to make chocolate chip cookies?

She had to peel the M&M's



but my favorite....
Dolly Parton once said that she didn't get insulted when people thought of her as a dumb blonde because
she knew she wasn't dumb
and she knows she isn't blonde

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #12

:lol: :lol:

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #13

How do you get a blond out of a tree?


Wave.

 

guwag

Active Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #14

Why did the blonde lose her Quality Control job at the M & M factory?

She was throwing away all the W's :lol:

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #15

Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
In case she locks the keys in her car.

 

Yellow Shoes

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #16

If you don't know what a typewriter is, you're too young, it's past your bedtime, and quit playing with Mommie's computer........


Why did the blonde flunk out of pharmacy school?

She couldn't figure out how to get the bottles in the typewriter

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #17

I have 2 typewritters...one manual from the '50s and one electric from the '70s. :lol:

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #18

: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

 

Maria

New Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #19

These are all so good! :lol: Please keep them coming! :animwink:

 

tigsmom

Well-Known Member

• Jul 25, 2003

• #20

: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
Far-from-thinkin.